


Boys of Spring

by DanaiaCake



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU - College Students, AU - Flatmates, AU - Roommates, Alternate Universe - Bands, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe- Singers, Bokuaka - Freeform, Cheating, Crush, First Love, HQ Rarepair, Implied Relationships, KageHina - Freeform, KuroKen - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Medical Student Iwaizumi Hajime, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Unrequited Love, flatmates, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-25
Updated: 2017-07-31
Packaged: 2018-09-19 22:59:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 39,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9464306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanaiaCake/pseuds/DanaiaCake
Summary: They fell in love.One with a boy who has a summer smile.The other, with a boy who has a winter-cold heart.And the last one, with a boy who withered like leaves in autumn.But they were the boys of spring. And spring brings forth new beginnings.They were ready to try again.---A Haikyuu college AU focusing on IwaOi and KuroKen but with a lot of side pairings. :)





	1. Highschool Confession

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my firts IwaOi alternate universe fanfic. I hope you enjoy it. 
> 
> Kudos and welcomes will be very much appreciated. :)

_ I like you. _

His lips were quivering. His cheeks were burning up. His hands were clenched until his knuckles turned white.

_ I like you so much. _

His eyes stayed resolutely down, scanning the light wooden panels of their classroom floor, tracing the abstract pattern of the wooden floor spattered with dirt and dried up mud stains because it had been raining outside since morning. 

_ I’ve liked you since middle school. Maybe even longer than that. _

He drew another ragged breath. His heart performed a drum solo as it thumped against his chest. His stomach was tied in knots, he wanted to hurl--

_ I know we’ve been best friends for a long time… but I… _

_ \-- _ and he did, but instead of the lunch which he barely touched during their break, he spewed out stream of words. Words he couldn’t take back. Words which were both liberating and damaging to a friendship both of them—he, especially treasured. Words which should have not been spoken, but begged to be spoken just the same.

_ I like you. _

He braved himself to look up to see Daichi’s black eyes wide with shock. He saw himself reflected in those pools of black and he felt so small, so fragile, so vulnerable— _ Here I am. I’m all yours. Take me. Leave me. Love me. Hurt me. But I like you. And that’s that.  _

Daichi was handsomely distracting—the dark hair framed his face; the thick mop of fringes fell slightly over his forehead and it looked like black ink sketched meticulously onto a blank canvas—each strand perfectly drawn and shaded. His thin lips, normally holding the brightest smile he had ever seen was slightly open but formed no words, despite this, a hint of dimples showed on his ample cheeks. His dark eyes were wide and completely focused on him; but on normal days, they were slanted and almond-shaped, appearing to be smaller every time he got too exhausted to sing—because  _ oh, could he sing. _

Wasn’t it the reason why they first met? Why they became friends and eventually best friends? Why he studied to play the guitar? Why when he suggested to  _ hey, let’s make a band with my childhood friends _ , he agreed almost immediately even when those people were really strangers to him. Even if he felt he wasn’t really cut out for playing music? 

Wasn't that the reason why he admired him every single day they were together, every song they wrote together--Daichi, the composer and he, the lyricist? Why every decision he had the past few years they were together, was made? That was also the reason why soon enough their friendship developed into something bittersweet. _ Their first connection—was his voice. _

Or maybe it was destiny—if he believed in any of those stuff. Because if it wasn't that, then he would never know what happened in that fateful day when he—being the O.C. person that he is ever since he could remember, forgot his Math notebook which had the only homework for the next day. He could go to school early the next day but no, he had to go back for it. He had to skip his train, walk back to school to retrieve it from his desk. 

It would have been easy and that afternoon should have been uneventful. Except it wasn’t.  _ And boy, was he glad that he chose that day to be careless.  _

It started at the end of the hallway and ended right in front of their classroom's closed door. The moment he stepped into their floor, a voice had already filled his ears. It was small at first, a faint, breathy whisper you could pass off as your imagination because there was no music to accompany the voice. For a moment, he thought just that—he was imagining things. 

But then it reached higher notes and the voice flowed right into a beautiful crescendo. He was suddenly assaulted by a hauntingly pure sound that seemed to reverberate through the walls of the hallway. The voice was the kind that sends goosebumps down your spine; the kind that makes you stop in your tracks—and all these happened to him the moment the voice picked up. He realized why whoever the voice belonged to was singing in acapella. He didn't need instruments...  _ his voice is his music _ .

That was the first time he heard Daichi sing. He didn’t even know the most low-key boy in his class had that kind of voice. Even now, after years of being friends with him and hearing him sing probably more than a hundred times, whether with their band in scheduled rehearsals or just with the two of them, sitting in either of their rooms, strumming guitar and belting out lyrics of songs they tried so hard to compose, the experience had always been the same.

Listening to him is like driving through a tunnel—you slowly approach the narrow entrance, travel through the darkness until the walls expand, the ceiling rise and suddenly, you're out and the sky is right above you, spreading wide and free. 

_ Liking him wasn’t that hard. _

He had a summer day smile—a shy, small smile and yet, everything it touches, it brightens up... but it was his eyes—the silent, unassuming power inside them that always, always made him weak whenever those two orbs focus on him.

_ Except right now. _

There was no trace of judgment under those dark eyes and he allowed himself to hope—even a bit.  _ Maybe he felt the same way. Maybe… just maybe he’d be willing to try. _ But all his thoughts, he knew, were too far-fetched and when Daichi gave him a hesitant smile, he knew it was hopeless. He braced himself.  _ Because really, what was he expecting to come out of this? He was even lucky Daichi didn’t look at him with disgust.  _ He knew it was impossible from the very first time he realized his feelings for his best friend. 

Falling in love with another boy was bad enough. Falling in love with your best friend was even worse. He was preparing for this, anyway, wasn't he? He knew what his confession might result to… but he did it anyway because he was only doing this for his peace of mind.  _ What peace of mind again? _

Daichi was looking at him, intently but anxiously—two misplaced emotions in those dark eyes and his heart ached. It wasn’t the gut wrenching, stabbing kind of pain—but a slow, building, dull pain growing stronger every minute.  _ Like toothache. _ Daichi raised his hand… and suddenly, the boy was ruffling his hair, “We’ll stay friends, won’t we,  _ Tooru _ ?”

His heart dropped and shattered on the floor.

Of course... this was Daichi. He would never reject him outright for fear of hurting him. He had always been kind, even to a fault—the light who brightens up everyone's gloomy day. Daichi, would never, even in his wildest days and foulest moods-- would want to hurt him—not for anything else, but just because it's his personality. He loved that about Daichi. But right now, he wished he wasn't like that. It hurt like hell because if Daichi rejected him properly instead of refusing him subtly, he'd have the decent excuse to hate him.

It would have been better if Daichi pushed him away. If Daichi called him names or if he saw disgust in his eyes… but none of them was there. He forgot to consider this was Daichi—and they were best friends and he would never purposely hurt him. Daichi had always been careful of handling his emotions.  _ Damn, him.  _ He couldn't hate him now. Because even after turning him down, he was still being nice about it. It was unfair.

He turned away and pouted—the only thing he could do to hide the desperation and sadness in his eyes, "Of course, idiot."

Daichi chuckled and pulled his hand away, "Fine. Fine. I'm sorry, Tooru."

He looked up again at Daichi and saw him smiling sincerely this time—his eyes becoming tinted with a flash of orange light from the sunlight seeping from the open window of their classroom.  _ For what? For considering that we are not friends anymore after this or for rejecting me or for both?  _ But he couldn't voice it out because tears were already stinging his eyes and he knew if he stayed here--in his presence, he'd look more embarrassing and pathetic for crying.

“Ah, I think I left my notebook in the library. You go on ahead." He thought and voiced out one of the lamest excuse he could muster up. Yet, he hoped that Daichi would buy it. Of course he didn't, but he got the message and was too nice and too polite to stop him so he just nodded like he understood—maybe he did.  _ One needs his alone time when he gets rejected, anyway. _

Before Daichi could even tell him to go ahead, he was already out the door, rubbing furiously at his eyes until they were red and painful—but tears just won’t stop from falling down and staining his cheeks. It was probably because he rarely cries so his tear ducts and tear producing glands were gearing for this moment—when he would let everything loose.  _ Well, here it is. Hit me with your best shot. _

He didn’t make it to the library—instead, he went straight to the rooftop where he and Daichi usually ate their lunch or just hang out with the band. It was probably the worst idea ever because the place reminded him of their friendship—and nothing else because there will never be anything else except that. It was pathetic the way his entire self crumbled at the thought of that.

He pushed the door open and the cold afternoon breeze was a welcome comfort for his weary, painful lungs. He could still smell the rain in the air and he gulped mouthfuls of it gratefully before he collapsed on the cold, concrete floor, still damp from the previous rain. He pulled his knees closer, hugging them to his chest—curling himself into a ball, hoping that if he became small enough, so would the pain—but pain doesn’t work that way. It wreaked havoc inside him and he was just helplessly sobbing into his folded knees.

It took him years—years before he allowed himself to do this. This was his choice—his choice alone. He could have chosen to shut up. They were about to enter their senior year anyway now and after that, they’d part ways and he could have silently killed and buried these feelings while they were at college.  _ But of course, he just had to go ahead and say it. Stupid. Stupid. _

He wasn’t even sure what these feelings were before. He thought there was something wrong with him—it wasn’t normal for boys to like other boys, right? Maybe, being in an exclusive school for boys had this effect. Maybe he really was just into guys—and he tried assessing himself, tried looking at other guys but nobody made him feel the way he felt with Daichi. 

_ His first love. His first love went to the same school as him; was in his class and wore the same uniform as him. His first love was his best friend. Yes, he was stupid.  _ He buried his face on his knees as he let himself go, swearing that this would be the first and last time he would cry for Daichi. Because  _ this isn't like Oikawa Tooru. He is stronger than this. There's just no way he would let silly, naive emotions hurt him like this.  _

He swore that if he could cry alone, let all these toxic emotions out his system… he’d be okay tomorrow. He was sure about this.

Only he realized, he wasn’t totally alone on the rooftop.

He didn’t see him, but he felt the person come from the opposite side of where he was sitting down. The rooftop was a big place and a huge water tank was sitting squarely in the middle blocking his view which was a good thing-- _ if I couldn't see him, it meant he couldn't see me. _

He heard footsteps getting nearer and as a sort of defense, he hugged his knees closer, not wanting to look up to see or be seen and wishing whoever it was would just leave him alone in his lonely misery.

The steps were light and silent… like whoever it was was carefully treading on water, but he could hear the footfalls as they neared him. Then they stopped right in front of him and he held his breath, waiting for the person's next move. There was a deep voice, “You got dumped?” 

He shook in surprise because he didn’t expect the man to talk to him at all—nor did he expect the voice he heard to be rough and deep—a husky sound that seemed to resonate into the small space they shared and made his skin crawl. It was like the voice itself was coaxing him to look up and see the face of who it belonged to. 

He didn’t answer, though he dared take a peek at the less than immaculate sneakers in front of him. They were white with a minimal build up of dried mud on its side and he knew whoever was standing in front of him wasn't a student of their school.  _ So what was he doing here? _

“Tch.” He heard some shuffling like someone was digging into one’s pocket or bag. He heard the coins jingling, papers rubbing against each other before he felt the person bend down to place something right beside his feet. He froze on the spot and didn’t look up until the man slowly walked away and waited a few more moments after the door beside him opened and closed signalling the disappearance of the other presence on the rooftop. He was alone again. 

Finally, when he was sure it’s already safe, he extracted himself from his self-embrace, curious to see what the person placed by his feet and when he saw what it was, he gawked in surprise and then chuckled to himself as he picked it up.

It was milk bread.

**+++**


	2. Oikawa Tooru Was a Selfish Man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He loves Daichi… Loved him even after he rejected him. Loved him more since then. He managed to hide the feelings just to stay by his side, because loving him silently from afar still seemed the better option instead of not being with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for continuing to read my fanfic. I hope you're enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it. Kuddos and comments are very much appreciated! <3

“I’m really sorry about this, Tooru.” Daichi’s speaking voice was in itself, a song and Tooru forced himself a smile before his head swiveled to face his best friend.

Daichi was leaning against the doorframe of Tooru’s almost empty room, looking unfairly handsome in just a casual white shirt and worn-out jeans. Tooru couldn’t help but gripe about how what puberty hadn’t given him, it had given to Daichi.

Though he was a few inches taller than Daichi--the guy’s shoulders were broad and muscular to demand attention. His shirt hugged his body in a way that showed off his lean muscles--something that Tooru with the slender body he annoyingly retained from high school could only dream of having. His tight pants sinfully tugged at his  _ thighs  _ and if Tooru was being completely honest, Daichi was a pleasant, welcome and distracting sight. If not for his upturned face, Tooru would have blushed at the mere sight of him.

_ He feels really bad, at least _ —was what went through in Tooru’s head when he saw the frown on his best friend’s face. He dismissed this thought immediately because it felt as if he wanted Daichi to feel bad about him leaving. It was a selfish thought, he knew that, but he couldn't help it when his heart skipped a beat at that simple far-fetched possibility. Because, truth be told, he did want him to feel a bit sad. 

They’ve been friends ever since middle school; both of them went through high school together in  _ Aoba Johsai  _ and lived in one roof for a year when both of them decided to go to Tokyo to study in  _ Kunitachi College of Music _ .

Being best friends with the guy for almost all his teenage life definitely warrants even a sort of possessiveness in their friendship—or at least, that was what he had been telling himself ever since that day back on their second year in high school when he confessed his true feelings for Daichi.

Looking back, he really didn't have any reason to confess to Daichi that time. He couldn't hide in any excuse because at that time, he knew he confessed simply for his own selfish reasons and as expected, he was gently refused by Daichi.  _ It hurt, but he deserved it.  _

He was young and naive to not even consider how Daichi would feel at that moment. He knew that at that time, he definitely felt he didn't deserve Daichi's consideration--not even the friendship that somehow managed to withstand thereafter. 

But he got over it eventually: the rejection and the embarrassment—not without being jaded of getting into relationships with anyone. Getting rejected by your first love definitely takes away something from you—in Tooru’s case, his belief that he would ever be happy with anyone else. 

_ It was just Daichi for him and if he couldn't have him, then he'd rather not take anybody else.  _ Not for anything else, but he simply felt it was unfair for the other party to be used by him because he would never like anyone as much as he likes Daichi.

The fact that he already knew Daichi would never be his was probably for his own good because he needed to transition back to being  _ just friends  _ with Daichi from  _ liking him  _ the way he did. So he bottled all these emotions and threw them at the very corner of his lovestruck heart as he focused on other things.

It definitely paid off—their friendship returned to normal as if nothing happened. The awkward tension between them lasted for just a couple of weeks before they eventually regressed to their usual banters. It was effective and they were both happy--pushing away all the emotions he felt and deceived himself into believing they didn’t even exist in the first place. He focused all his energy on going to college. It was so effective that it even came to a point when Tooru wondered how he even thought he was in love with Daichi. He felt it was a pathetic childish phase of his that he successfully passed over.

At least until three months ago… when Daichi got himself a  _ boyfriend _ . 

“Don’t be stupid, Daichi. I totally understand. You guys would need some privacy and it’ll be weird to have me here.” Tooru said, giving the worried boy a lopsided grin, “Besides, it’s not like I could still stay in this apartment once I started attending my classes in Tokyo U. Commute would be bothersome.”

_ It was half a lie.  _ Living with Daichi for a year, making music in their little studio apartment had been blissful and he foolishly thought, it would stay that way. Commuting for thirty minutes via bus is nothing if it meant he could still live with Daichi. But things change... And the change came with a name: Sugawara Koushi—a particularly bright-eyed silver-haired boy in their class who, like Daichi, was also a musical genius. 

They have a lot of things in common—both could play almost any instruments and both have amazing singing voices. One could compose songs that would make publishers make a run for their money while the other could write lyrics as if they were poetry. The two of them made a great pair and when he told Tooru about the relationship—he almost thought that it was  _ about goddamn time! _

_ Almost. _ Because truth be told, when Daichi rejected him, he thought it was because he didn’t like guys. That it just wasn’t possible. But when Sugawara came, he realized that the issue wasn’t about Daichi not liking other guys…  _ but Daichi not liking him.  _ He didn’t know what stung more, the fact that they went through the years with Daichi keeping a secret from him or knowing he wasn’t the one Daichi chose. 

To be fair, he wasn’t surprised it actually happened and he had a lingering suspicion about it—he was witness to the passing glances between the two, the awkward conversations, the exchange of numbers—all of those things were the perfect premise to a sweet,  _ manga _ love story. Their chemistry was undeniable, but he just didn’t think it would happen this soon and things would develop this fast. Suddenly, the world which only the two of them shared was disturbed by Sugawara’s positive energy. It wasn’t like he didn’t like it… but Sugawara’s presence made him realize one more thing about himself..

_ He loves Daichi… Loved him even after he rejected him. Loved him more since then.  _ He managed to hide the feelings just to stay by his side, because loving him silently from afar still seemed the better option instead of not being with him. It was ironic because that unconscious decision to pretend to not love him rooted from the unrequited love he felt for many years now. 

Daichi had always been his comfort zone, the place he always wanted to go home to.   _Wasn’t that the reason he_ _decided to go to college with him and study music even when he couldn’t see himself creating music for his entire life—he did it because he always saw himself standing beside Daichi anyway… and that was okay._

He carefully weaved his world around him, unaware that he was doing it with the hope that he could one day monopolize Daichi to himself. All this time he thought he was being  _ selfless _ but the truth is, he wasn't any different from the childish boy he was when he was in high school.  _ He was still selfish. _

But he didn’t consider Daichi falling in love—one of the many complications of unrequited love. And when Daichi found love, Tooru’s carefully crafted world he protected by all the secrets and all emotions he concealed even from himself—shattered in an instant.

It didn’t help that Daichi and Sugawara were perfect for each other. It didn’t help that Sugawara made him happy—happier than he had ever seen him. It didn’t help that seeing them together doing  _ couple  _ things suffocated him.

But in the end, he still couldn’t get mad at Daichi because despite his faults and the many times he had been taken for granted,  _ he was still in love with him. Always. _

Daichi was frowning at him, his handsome features forming a petulant scowl, his eyes narrowing, “About that… Do you really think it’s smart to transfer schools now? Wouldn’t that be a little difficult for you?”

Tooru gave Daichi a side-glance and saw the worry sketched in his face. His heart skipped a beat at the sincerity behind those dark eyes, but he shrugged the feeling off before it turned into something else. He had gone past trying to give meaning into everything Daichi says or does for him—Daichi sees him as nothing else but a friend and there might be a time when Tooru thought otherwise, but he now understands that everything Daichi does is only because of their friendship. 

Tooru chuckled, “What are you saying? We’ve only been studying for a year. It’s totally normal for college students to have a change of heart while in school.”

Daichi bit on his lower lip, still unconvinced “But you were totally cut out for music. You write songs way better than anyone else in our class!”

Tooru wanted to laugh because Daichi was probably right. If there was one thing he was good at, it was writing lyrics—but he knew, too that he was good in it not because he liked writing songs but because he loved reading and studying literature—which is the course he would be taking in Tokyo University.

He also couldn’t tell Daichi that the only reason he was in Kunitachi was because he had wanted to stay beside him for as long as he could. He didn’t realize how strong and how long he had hoped that Daichi would reciprocate his feelings until it was too late. Sugawara was the final nail in the coffin—when he came, he was reminded how his unrequited love would never materialize and he had to move on. 

_ It was about time for him to find his dream which didn’t involve Daichi. And he hoped he would find it in Tokyo University. _

“Yeah, well… You know I’m really not cut out for performing, right?” He said, giving Daichi an awkward smile. 

Daichi sighed in defeat—Tooru knew that he won the argument because even if Daichi wanted him to stay, he would never insist on making him do things he didn’t like. He had always been considerate of other people, especially Tooru.

It was probably what made it hard for Tooru to  _ unlove  _ him despite knowing how his feelings would never be returned. It was one of Daichi's greatest qualities but there are times when Tooru wished he would be a little bit selfish and inconsiderate.

“Did you find a place to stay, anyway?” Daichi asked again.  _ Typical of him.  _ He would always worry about Tooru and be slightly and annoyingly overprotective upon the first sign of self doubt. He had always protected Tooru from the latter's greatest weakness:  _ self doubt. _

Tooru gave an awkward smile, his brown eyes falling down on the floor.  _ That was one of his problems. _ While it was true that he already found an apartment right inside Hongo campus—it was his potential flat mate that was kind of the problem. He hadn’t met the man properly yet, but the lease director told him that all the other studio single-tenant apartments were already rented out. 

Another student used to live in this apartment, but he transferred to Kyoto by the end of the semester so the owner decided to rent out the second room. 

Still, he couldn’t let Daichi know about this without making him worry so he just gave him a slight nod, “Yes. I already found one and it’s even inside my campus. I’d start packing and sending my things over starting tomorrow. I’d probably be able to move after a week.”

Daichi was still looking at him anxiously, a perpetual frown resting on his face. Tooru didn’t meet his eyes, afraid that if he as much as gave them another glance, he would totally lose his resolve in moving apartments. Besides, their current apartment wasn’t really that far from Tokyo University—probably just an hour bus ride…  _ but it wasn’t really why he was moving. _ Still, if Daichi looked at him like that... "Besides, wouldn't you want Sugawara-san to transfer here as soon as possible?"

That did it--a blush rose on his cheeks as he gave Tooru a sheepish smile. The lovestruck expression tugged at Tooru's heart and a painful throb started to grip his heart. An imaginary lump began to build at the back of his throat, watching the reaction the mere mention of his name brought.

_ He would never love me like that. That look is reserved for people you like and I would never see that in my entire life. _

Daichi gave another defeated sigh, finally recovering. He straightened and looked Tooru squarely in the eyes, “Fine. But let me drive you next week, at least.”

“You don’t have to—“

“It’s the least I could do.” Daichi cut him off, “So please. I’m your best friend. I ought to know you’d be okay.”

When Tooru turned to Daichi—he wasn’t even looking at him. Tooru bit on his lower lip to stop them from trembling. His mind kept on screaming at him, kept nagging him to reject his offer because he just knows… no matter what happens… 

_ No, I will never be okay. _

"Fine. I'll let you do it."

_ He had never felt so stupid. _

His other close friend and their band’s manager, Akaashi Keiji, also thought so when he mentioned it while the two of them were having coffee the same day he and Daichi had the talk.

Tooru was looking down at his caramel macchiato, swirling the green straw around mindlessly, because he simply didn’t want to meet Keiji’s silent but definitely judging stare.

In truth, Keiji hadn’t said anything, but the unimpressed expression in his face said everything Tooru didn’t want to hear.  _ At least he wasn’t saying it out loud.  _ Which was probably the reason why he liked Keiji best. And despite being aloof most of the time, he is actually quite observant and the only person in their band who knew about Tooru’s feelings for Daichi.

“Well... “ Tooru said before taking a sip from his drink, letting the bittersweet taste coat his tongue, “Are you not going to say anything?”

Keiji shrugged and took a sip of his tea because he never liked coffee, “I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You won’t nag me?”

Keiji frowned slightly, “I don’t nag.” Tooru hummed in response because it was true. The other thing he liked about Keiji was after he found out (accidentally, by the way), he had kept his mouth shut and particularly took his hands off the issue. Tooru suspected that he wasn’t even interested of this, but at least the guy offered a listening ear and for Tooru, that was enough. 

“Well, good. Maybe we can talk about something else, then?” Tooru suggested and Keiji shrugged, “Well, when are you transferring?”

“Next week.” Tooru replied, “I am still packing some of my things and fixing some papers. I actually haven’t met my flat mate yet.”

Keiji raised a curious brow, “You haven’t? And yet you’re moving in with him next week?”

“Is there a problem with that.”

“Not really. It’s just… interesting.”

“Well, the landlord said he was a medicine student so he’s particularly busy.”

“Hmn…”Keiji nodded but there was something else in the look he gave and Tooru found himself frowning, “What is it?”

“What?”

“You look like you were about to say something.”

Keiji simply hummed in response and didn’t even deny it. When Tooru didn’t speak again, he realized he had to answer. He cleared his throat before continuing, “Well, aren’t you even curious who he is?”

Tooru thought about it--it wasn’t like he wasn’t curious. He was just busy and too occupied with feeling sorry for himself that he didn’t have time to check the person out. He shrugged, “Well I am.”

Keiji looked pleased, “Well, do you know his name?”

Tooru tried to remember what the landlord told him:  _ Your roommate studies medicine and rarely comes home so you might find yourself alone most days. But he’s a good kid, smart, too. Iwaizumi-san is such a…..” _

“Iwaizumi.” He said.

“Just Iwaizumi?” Keiji asked, “No first name?”

“That’s the only thing I know.” He shrugged, “That and the fact that he’s in the medicine department.”

When he said that, Keiji’s poker face brightened up a bit… not enough to change his expression, though. He whipped out his phone and began typing a message.

“What are you doing?”

“Messaging Kuroo. He’s in the same department.” He replied without even looking up at Tooru.

“Kuroo? Who the hell is that?”

“Kou’s best friend.”

“Huh? And who the hells is Kou?”

Keiji gave an exasperated sigh and rolled his eyes, “The guy I’m dating. Now, can you shut up for a minute?”

Tooru blinked in shock. Keiji didn’t have to tell him to shut up because he was rendered speechless at how casually he revealed he was dating another guy.  _ Okay,  _ to be fair, he was already suspecting that Keiji didn’t like girls, but to be openly casual about it was just  _ amazing _ . He stared at Keiji as the latter just typed in his phone for a few minutes.

Finally, after at least five minutes, he turned to Tooru with an unreadable expression. Tooru suddenly became afraid, “What is it? Is he terrible?”

“Well, he’s Kuroo’s friend, apparently.” Keiji said, “So you could say he’s pretty decent.”

Tooru nodded, suddenly feeling excited about this, for some reason. Keiji passed his phone to Tooru and he accepted it willingly. “That’s his Facebook account. You can start stalking him now.”

Tooru looked at the page on Keiji’s phone and his heart fluttered a bit.  _ The guy was hot _ . Okay, maybe not as hot as Daichi, but definitely  _ hot.  _ There was a certain roughness in his features, probably because of his unruly, spiky black hair. Or maybe the dangerous looking green eyes.

Or maybe the obviously strong, muscular body underneath that white doctor’s coat.  _ Or maybe it was a little of everything. _

He wanted to scroll more but he didn’t want Keiji to know he was  _ really interested  _ so he reluctantly gave the phone back. “He seems okay.”

Keiji gave him an incredulous look but said nothing. He took that chance to change the topic, “Well, can we now talk about  _ Kou?” _

**+++**  



	3. First Day; First Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooru gaped at the half-naked man standing in the middle of the room. The shades were still drawn but a bit of light spilled from the window enough to outline the lean muscles which made up the man’s upper torso. He is taller than Daichi, and the unlaced black sweat pants hugging his waist only emphasized his toned hips and the length of his legs. He was holding an opened can of beer on his left hand and smoking a freshly lit cigarette using his right as he looked at Tooru from head to foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was feeling really inspired today so I finished a new chapter for this. :) I hope you like this one as it is the first chapter where my babies Iwaizumi and Oikawa finally meet. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always welcome. <3

The week passed by in a hasty blur between preparing for the move and making sure his transfer to the Faculty of Letters at Tokyo University came without any problems.

It was also a good thing because his tight schedule left no room for any form of reflection and feeling sorry for himself as he prepared everything. Daichi was helpful when he could, but between gigs and rehearsals with their previous band, it was really hard for them to catch up with each other.

He had told their band, _Discordia_ about his intention on quitting two months ago, when he decided to apply to the literature program of Tokyo University. As expected, their drummer, Nishinoya Yuu was shocked and got depressed over his announcement. He whined and convinced him to stay even if it meant they had to change studios to do band rehearsals but he had to explain that his decision had many reasons he couldn't discuss.

Thankfully, their bassist, Azumane Asahi, was an insightful enough to understand what was going on and discreet enough not to say anything, to Nishinoya's dismay. Akaashi, at least made sure the band didn’t catch on his real reason, and remained mum about the issue.

He didn't meet up with his band members during the week. He received a couple of messages from Nishinoya, asking if he already changed his mind and though it sometimes came off as annoying, he was happy that Nishinoya treated him as a real friend.

When the day of the move came, it still felt surreal, like he was watching a scene unfold before him—but when Daichi turned off the engine in front of the Kanamachi Apartments—the modern white façade of the building shading them from the early morning sun--he knew he wasn't just watching the scene--he was _in the scene_.

The apartment was a modest building. There was a laundromat and a small convenience store on the first floor with plastic chairs and tables in front occupied by a few university students, many of them had huge travel bags by their feet. Spring break just ended and classes would start in a few days so it’s probably normal to find them still looking dazed from vacation.

To say he was nervous was an understatement as his heart was banging on his chest so loud he could barely hear Daichi when he said: “This looks promising.” He was tapping his fingers on the wheel of his truck while gazing up at the building in front of them.

Tooru turned to him and smiled, “It’s a pretty campus, don’t you think?”

 _Because it was_. Tokyo University was like a marriage of modern and traditional architecture—a westernized collection of buildings with tall walls, red bricks, huge pillars, domed entrances made beautiful by time and age. Gingko trees lined the cobble-stoned pavement and there were a lot of empty, green spaces where groups of students huddled together for study sessions.

It was a beautiful campus and Tooru knew he should be excited to start his future here… but he couldn’t help but feel a bit afraid to take the first step because Daichi wasn’t a part of it. For the past five years, he had Daichi decide for him—from the simple things like what they should have for dinner, where they should get it, what to watch for their movie nights; up to the more important, big, life-changing decisions that affected both their futures. He wasn’t prepared to take this new step… especially didn’t expect that step to be _away from him._

_Is he ready for this?_

He glanced at the man beside him who had laid his cheek on the steering wheel so he could look at him. His fringes had fallen slightly over his black eyes which were both glinting under the early morning sunlight and he simply couldn’t miss the obvious sadness behind those dark pools of black.  His heart clenched on his chest as the implication of his choice became realer and realer by the minute.

_But you wouldn’t love me._

It was too late now, anyway. The papers have been signed and approved, the payments were already made. Starting today, the two of them would be officially be going into two different universities, leading two different lives.

He had to remind himself that simple truth which changed everything else. For many years, staying by Daichi's side had always been his goal and top priority but what's the point of it now? Now that he couldn’t get that dream, it was just time for him to find another one. _He had to do this for himself._

“Thank you for dropping me off.” Tooru cleared his throat before he opened the door to the passenger’s side and hopped off.

Daichi snapped into attention and opened the door to his side before jumping out to help Tooru with his backpack. Before he could pick it up, though, Tooru placed his hand against Daichi’s chest and pushed him slightly away. He glanced at the shocked face of his best friend and gave him a smile, “I’m good. Don’t worry about this.”

Daichi opened his mouth to speak, then closed them again when words failed him. Tooru could see him struggling and a small, selfish kind of happiness bubbled up inside him. _When will I see you again like this? When will I see the emptiness sitting in your eyes at the reality of my absence? Will you miss me? Will you finally realize that you—_

 _It’s impossible._ He had to shut down every single voice in his head suggesting something would eventually happen if he hanged in there because _he did hang in there_ and look where it got him?

“I’ll go ahead now.” He said before he lost the internal battle he was going through because he wanted—wanted so much to embrace him just as much as he wanted to walk away now.

He turned away and towards the entrance of the building, about to take the first step away from the car. _Away from Daichi. Away from his first love. Away from all the pent up emotions he has secretly stowed away with the hope that they’d be returned someday._

“Tooru.” Daichi called softly and he cursed under his breath because Daichi’s voice always—always sounded like he was singing to him. Like a child, he would always yearn to hear it—rough and a little husky in the morning turning smooth and silky as the day goes by. He looked to face the man who was standing by the car looking effortlessly like the rockstar that he always ought to be. _And Tooru wouldn’t be there beside him when he took on the world._

“I have to go.” Tooru said, giving him the biggest grin he could afford even when his heart was currently breaking into two uneven pieces—the bigger one crushed into tiny, smaller fragments and left inside the truck, in the tiny corner of their apartment, back in the rooftop of their old high school—in all the places they shared he left a sliver of himself. _And the remaining small half?_ It was there, tucked inside Daichi’s pocket, or on top of his desk, or the dark corner of his closet… anywhere he wanted it to be.

 _That was how his unrequited love felt, anyway._ Giving himself totally and completely to the one person who didn't need it.

Daichi smiled and the tension melted away in the bright, warm smile which showed all his dimples, “Hai, hai. Sorry.” He winked at him, “You have my number. Don’t be a stranger.”

Tooru took in that bright smile, relishing the moment before he nodded and raised his hand to wave goodbye. He didn’t wait to see Daichi ride the truck and drive away… if he did, he probably wouldn’t be able to hold the unshed tears stinging his eyes because he would never—ever let them fall again. He went through many things with Daichi after his failed confession—none of them ever made him cry again. He wasn’t going to start now.

\---

The common area of the apartment was small and only had a small office and receiving desk on one corner with two vending machines pushed on the wall. He skipped dropping by the office as he made sure to get the key the last time he was here—that time, he hoped to finally meet his flatmate, but like the other times, he wasn’t even home.

In the past few days he dropped by the apartment to deliver some of his things, he found out that it was mostly empty to the point that he even doubted if someone actually lived there. Probably, the only evidence would be the cans of beer in the refrigerator _(no food, though)_ and the perpetual reek of cigarettes in the entire place—he vowed to talk to his flatmate about that.

But as the week went on without them meeting, he began to think that he’d be living in the flat, with no interaction whatsoever with said person. It was okay, he figured, besides, at least his flatmate didn’t leave dirty clothes on the floor and dirty dishes on the sink like Daichi.

Which is why when he reached the door to their apartment and found it to be slightly ajar, his heart skipped a beat at the potential of finally seeing the person he would live together for the next four years, if problems wouldn't arise in the future.

He pushed open the door and hopped anxiously inside the genkan, wondering if he should say _“I’m home”_ or   _“Sorry for the intrusion”_ to announce his arrival—when a distinct sound stopped him in his tracks.

 _“Kuroo, please… Not there… Ah… That tickles…”_ A small laughter.

His foot froze in mid-step and he gasped when he realized the voice belonged to a woman. _Is his flat mate a woman?_ But he clearly remembered the papers he signed indicated the name was _Iwaizumi Hajime_ and not _Kuroo_. He tried to remember where he heard that name but couldn’t quite pinpoint it.

 _“What do you mean not here? You know you like it here…”_ A sultry, husky, deep voice of a man echoed in the room followed by a breathy moan from the woman. Tooru’s eyes widened as a blush crept its way to his cheeks, realizing he walked in on a rather very awkward situation. He seriously considered walking back out and down because he definitely chose the wrong decision in transferring apartments.

Except when he moved back, he somehow, stupidly lost his footing and he fell unceremoniously on the floor, bringing down his heavy backpack with him with a loud crash. The effect was instantaneous. There was a gasp from the woman, then a quick rustling of clothes as Tooru pushed himself up, ready to run away. It was too late because a flustered woman with brown hair rushed towards the genkan, clutching a collection of clothes against her chest and grabbing her shoes from one corner while keeping her head down.

Tooru’s jaw dropped when she pushed her way out barely able to say, “Sorry for the intrusion.” before she dashed towards the still open door. Tooru’s eyes followed her retreating form feeling a headache rising from the back of his head.

Before he could react, a man’s voice snapped his head back towards the living area, “Ah, so you’d be coming in today.”

Tooru gaped at the half-naked man standing in the middle of the room. The shades were still drawn but a bit of light spilled from the window enough to outline the lean muscles which made up the man’s upper torso. He is taller than Daichi, and the unlaced black sweat pants hugging his waist only emphasized his toned hips and the length of his legs. He was holding an opened can of beer on his left hand and smoking a freshly lit cigarette using his right as he looked at Tooru from head to foot.

"I'm Kuroo Tetsuro. I’m afraid Hajime hasn’t gone home, yet." He said, carding his hand through his dark spiky _bed-head_ hair,  Tooru's jaw dropped at the low and deep register of his voice. When he didn't respond, Kuroo narrowed his yellow eyes at him, and Tooru couldn’t help but compare his movements to a cat, “Oi. Did you lose your tongue?”

 _Kuroo Tetsuro_. He finally remembered where he heard it--Akaashi told him about the guy, it was his boyfriend’s friend and apparently his flatmate’s friend, too. Before he could even respond, someone cleared his throat behind him. He looked back and his jaw dropped. He had seen photos of Iwaizumi Hajime in Facebook prior to today and he had seen enough photos to know the guy is hot--but nothing could have prepared him for what he was seeing right now.

The man was leaning against the door with his arms crossed against his chest. He was wearing a plain navy blue shirt and dark jeans, a white coat slung over one shoulder. Tooru couldn’t help but openly stare at him, the simple clothes merely emphasized his powerful and strong body. The muscles on his arms flexed when he picked up the duffel bag beside his feet.

But it was his face that left Tooru speechless. His photos definitelh didn't do justice at how masculine and ruggedlt handsome the guy was with his unruly darker than dark hair which framed the prominent outlines of his face. And oh--the intensity in those hazel eyes was enough for Tooru to melt when he as much as given him a side glance before he turned back to Kuroo.

Considering the tired and annoyed look he gave, Tooru figured, he wasn’t in his best mood. “I told you to stop using my apartment for your one-night stands.”

Kuroo chuckled and took a swig of beer as he shrugged his shoulders. Iwaizumi clicked his tongue in annoyance and walked towards the guy, bag swinging over his shoulder. Kuroo was taller than Hajime, but there was something about his posture and his strides that made him appear _taller_ or maybe, at least, _more powerful._ When he passed Tooru, he made a gruff sound which oddly resembled: _Get in._ Tooru did follow him wordlessly as the man threw his duffel bag on the couch and slumped down onto it.

“You look tired.” Kuroo noted, a sly grin on his face. Hajime merely grunted before laying his head on the couch’s head rest and closing his eyes. Kuroo then turned to Tooru, “Hmn… You’re actually pretty. What’s your name?” Finally, Tooru found his tongue and nodded, “Ah, yes. Oikawa Tooru.”

Kuroo nodded thoughtfully, “Tooru… That actually sounds like a girl’s name, too. Are you sure you’re a guy?” Tooru gaped at him as he snickered back at him. He was teasing him-- _that much he knew_ , but in all honesty, Tooru wasn’t at all surprised to hear those words as there were many times people actually mistake his name for a girl’s. He was about to say something but before he could, Hajime grunted again, his voice rough, “Kuroo. What the fuck are you still doing here?”

Kuroo chuckled, “I’m just trying to make friends with my new _neighbor._ ” He said turning to Tooru, “Well, I should be going now. _Kitten_ could be waking up any moment now and I wouldn’t want him finding out I wasn’t home last night.” He stretched his arms over his head and his bones clicked in place before he grinned at Tooru, again, “I’ll see you around, _Tooru._ ”

Tooru’s eyes followed Kuroo’s retreating form, watching as the man casually walked out and closed the door behind him. He didn’t even realize Hajime had now risen up from where he was slumped and walking towards the kitchen, now. “I didn’t know you’d be coming today.”

“I… I sent a few messages last week.” Tooru said watching Hajime try to hold back a yawn as he stretched his arms over his head before sauntering towards the house. Tooru unconsciously looked up and was rewarded by the beauty of his back muscles. _Seriously, is this man an athlete of some sorts?_ _How could his muscles be as toned as that? And what is up with those amazing biceps?_

“I haven’t been home for a week.” He said,  walking past the living area—which was modernly and impressively decorated with all the leather couches and dark wood furniture. Seriously, the first time Tooru came in, he thought he struck gold because the place was impeccably decorated and it had a small wall-mounted TV. It was definitely a welcome development from the hole he and Daichi shared before.

Hajime sauntered over to the kitchen counter—they have no dining table, only a counter and some bar stools nailed on the floor—but their kitchen was also impressive and complete with a stove and an oven, both still looked brand new—which meant they were probably rarely used.

“Tooru, is it?” Hajime asked opening the refrigerator and pulling out a microwaveable meal. He systematically placed it inside the microwave by the kitchen counter and pushed the buttons before the appliance whirred into life. He placed his backpack on the floor beside the couch and nodded, “Yes.” Tooru wondered if this man lived off of microwaveable meals which really wasn’t his business, but thought about simply because when he and Daichi decided to live on their own, he needed to learn to cook even simple dishes because Daichi almost burned their place down when he tried making omelets. _Does Sugawara learn to cook? Could he actually take care of Daichi?_ _And was it really necessary for Tooru to think about this things, now?_

Hajime yawned again just when the microwave beeped and he moved to take his meal out. He frowned at Tooru, “Are you hungry?” He tilted his head to one side and the roughly sexy movement made Tooru’s heart lurch. He was crazy attractive—Tooru couldn’t deny that—but… _the hell with him staring openly at the guy he just met?_

“Um, no.” Tooru said, mentally cursing himself because he had never been this flustered talking to any other guy--not even Daichi. Hajime sat on one of the stools and picked on his food, “Oh, right. Don’t mind that guy. He’s a colleague in my department and lives next door with his boyfriend.”

“His boyfriend?” Tooru gawked because he was pretty sure he walked in on the guy in the middle of having sex with a woman. Hajime shrugged, understanding his surprise but not indulging him, “Best if you ignore it. It’s none of my business.”

Tooru nodded, but it somehow left a bitter taste in his mouth. _The guy was cheating on his boyfriend._ He couldn’t help but think about Daichi cheating on Sugawara and the thought just didn’t make sense. _How could people do that?_ “You walking in on them sucks…" Hajime said chewing his food quickly. Tooru frowned at that, but figured that he really looked like he needed some sleep which was probably why he was rushing eating.

Tooru sighed, “I just hope that doesn’t happen often. I mean now that I’m living here… I don’t really want walking in on them, again.” He didn’t want to sound like he was complaining, but it was an issue he couldn’t shrug off. Unlike Hajime, he wasn’t friends with Kuroo. Hajime paused mid-way eating his onigiri and nodded, “I’ll talk to him about it.” He stood up and threw it in the nearby trashcan, grabbing a mug from the cupboard.

Tooru noticed the name printed on the white generic mug Hajime poured water into. The script font was written in teal ink and it made Tooru smile when he read it: _Iwa-chan_.

Tooru smiled--the prettiest smile he could muster and realized that this was the first time he did actually smile this morning which was what he wanted and resolved to do when he met his new flatmate. Tokyo U was a new place for him and he had no friends here. As much as possible, he wanted to create new friends as soon as he can, and he’d like to start with his flatmate. “Thank you, _Iwa-chan._ ”

Hajime’s brows furrowed with the nickname and he glared at Tooru, “What did you just call me?” Tooru pointed at the mug he was holding and realizing his mistake Hajime groaned, “It was a gift. And the nickname is stupid.”

Tooru chuckled, “I think it suits you just fine.” Hajime’s scowl deepened and it made Tooru chuckle. For someone as tough looking as the guy, he certainly has the most adorable pout. He grinned at the guy but he guessed that Hajime was too tired for a rebuttal. He sighed, “Well, you know where your room is, I suppose? The movers dropped them off last week, right?” He waited for Oikawa to nod before he nodded himself, “I’m going to my room to sleep since I’d be going back to the hospital tomorrow morning. So I’d appreciate if you minimize the noise.”

“Oh, okay.” Tooru said. He watched Hajime walk towards the room on the far right of the apartment, “I promise to unpack my things quietly, _Iwa-chan._ ” Hajime stopped and glared back at him, “Stop.Calling.Me.That.” He looked dangerously angry, but Tooru merely smiled brightly at him and waved a goodbye. Hajime grunted and continued walking out.

He was still looking at the man’s silhouette which disappeared into the room. He grinned to himself, pulling his phone from his pocket, eager to send a message to Keiji in LINE.

**_Tooru: He’s actually here! o(^▽^)o_ **

**_Keiji: Good for you, then. How is he?_ **

**_Tooru: Not telling._ **

**_Keiji: Ok._ **

**_Tooru: Wait, I’m kidding! He’s pretty hot._ **

**_Keiji: So you immediately had a crush on him?_ **

**_Tooru: Of course not! Stop teasing me, Aka-chan!_ **

He waited for another response, grinning stupidly at his phone, but it didn’t came. He sighed and put it back his pocket, figuring he had to start unpacking soon enough. Except his phone blared loudly with an incoming call. He shook his head, thinking Keiji was actually interested. But gasped after seeing Daichi’s name register on his phone almost gave him a start he almost answered it immediately, totally forgetting the man who was now looking curiously at him.

He stared at the blinking name, unsure what to do and confused why he couldn’t just answer it. But he still did because he always did. “Daichi, what’s up?”

“Hey, Tooru. You left your jacket in the truck.” Daichi’s voice sounded like home and he stopped himself from purring in response.

“Ah, did I?” Tooru tried to recall if he did indeed bring a jacket but couldn’t remember packing one in his backpack. Anyway, if Daichi said he left it, then he probably did, “Sorry about that. Can you keep it first? I’d drop by soon to pick it up.”

Daichi hummed from the other line before he said, “Alright. I’ll hold onto it for a while. Just pick it up when you’re not busy.” Tooru felt himself glow from within at the prospect of meeting Daichi again. Which was really just a stupid notion because of course they would meet again--they’re best friends! Nothing’s changed. But the fact that he would always be welcome in Daichi’s life, albeit not as what he would have wanted, still gave him a certain form of satisfaction.

They said their goodbyes after some brief reminders: _Do not use the third outlet beside the kitchen, the one on the left, because it sparked a few days ago and he should call the electrician again to check on it. Opened carton of milk only lasts for a week--don’t drink it when it went over that even when it smells normal. The lock of the window in the bathroom was broken so you have to manually tie it to the railing._

The moment the phone call was over, Tooru realized there was a new message from Keiji.

**_Keiji: But seriously, Tooru. Do you think you'd finally move on from you know who?_ **

Tooru blinked at the question, then remembered the phone call he just received.

_Will I ever?_

**+++**


	4. Oh no! This is just a crush, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime took a sip from his mug and shrugged, “You just didn’t seem the type.”
> 
> “What do you mean?”
> 
> Hajime ignored his question and began to walk away from where Tooru was working. Tooru frowned, “Oi what do you mean?!”
> 
> Hajime sighed as he strode towards the couch, donning on a fresh white shirt. “Well you did seem like a…” He paused as if in deep contemplation then continued, “Spoiled princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me until this chapter. I hope you are enjoying reading this as much as I am enjoying writing it. <3 
> 
> Your kudos and comments inspire me to continue writing! :)

**_Well, Keiji. I really don’t have a choice, do I?_ **

Tooru was up early the day after. He slept late and his body ached everywhere from lifting heavy boxes  _ (most of them were the alien and planet models he had carefully bubble wrapped and placed back in their shelves) _ and moving things around. He could make do with another few hours but his body had always been accustomed to waking up before Daichi did to prepare breakfast.

Except when he opened his eyes and saw the unfamiliar ceiling above him, he felt a pang of loneliness and longing when he remembered Daichi wasn’t outside anymore. He would have curled back into the mattress of his bed and cried himself to sleep but he scolded himself for acting too depressed over something he could not change.

He told Keiji last night that he, at least would try his best to recover from  _ this _ and hoped the distance would somehow helped him. Thinking about Daichi certainly defeats that purpose. He vowed to stop punishing himself and stop thinking about the guy from now on.

So he pushed himself off of the bed and dragged himself out of the room and onto the kitchen. Hajime wasn’t anywhere to be seen but the steady sound of water from the shower when he passed by the bathroom and the duffel bag at the foot of the couch suggested that he was still home. For some reason, that thought brought an unnecessary skip to his strides.

The smell of brewing coffee wafted all throughout the apartment and it was a welcoming smell that reminded Tooru of home. Though he isn’t a coffee drinker, Daichi loves coffee, too and it’s the only thing he could prepare without the threat of burning the house down. Tooru dismissed the thought as soon as it came, though.

“Maybe I could prepare some breakfast.” He said to himself.  _ Who says he could only prepare breakfast for Daichi anyway? _ Food was always a nice way to start up a conversation with someone. Tooru hummed a nameless tune--something he developed as a form of habit-- as he moved in the kitchen.

He did some groceries before he came here and so he had some ingredients for at least a decent American-styled breakfast of eggs and bacon. He toasted some bread, too and was halfway into flipping the scrambled eggs when the door to the bathroom opened and Hajime emerged, wearing a pair of dark blue sweatpants… and just that.

Tooru had to consciously stop his jaw from dropping because he now finally understood where the supposed strength he felt yesterday, when the guy and Kuroo stood side by side, came from. The muscles under his shirt yesterday were fully exposed now and Tooru gazed at it all… watching the stray droplets of water roll down the defined lines of his chest and abdomen, only to dampen the garter of the sweatpants where the skin and cloth meets.

He felt his face heat up when Hajime noticed his presence and stopped rubbing furiously at his still damp hair. For an instant, Hajime blinked at him in shock, like he didn’t knew who he was, but he soon recovered and gave Tooru a nod, “Right. You live here now.” He said as if to remind himself.

Tooru didn’t know how to react. He cleared his throat, instead, and gave a bright smile, “Ohayou, Iwa-chan!” His voice was chirpy which perfectly hid the dreamy, overly distracted expression on his face. Hajime glared at him again, “I told you to stop calling me that.”

Tooru ignored him, “I’m making breakfast.” Hajime walked over to the kitchen counter to grab his  _ Iwa-chan  _ mug and pour coffee from the coffee maker. He wordlessly tipped the mug to Tooru to ask if he wanted a mug, too, but Tooru shook his head, “Thanks. Do you want some breakfast?” Tooru asked when Hajime walked away towards his room. The question was just a sort of formality because he was obviously preparing food for two.

Hajime peered over the plates Tooru prepared for them. “You cook?” It wasn’t really a question but more of a confirmation and Tooru nodded, “Well, I need to learn to do it since my previous flatmate was useless in the kitchen. Why do you ask?”

Hajime took a sip from his mug and shrugged, “You just didn’t seem the type.”

“What do you mean?”

Hajime ignored his question and began to walk away from where Tooru was working. Tooru frowned, “Oi what do you mean?!”

Hajime sighed as he strode towards the couch, donning on a fresh white shirt. “Well you did seem like a…” He paused as if in deep contemplation then continued, “Spoiled  _ princess. _ ”

Tooru’s face went crimson red from annoyance and embarrassment. It wasn’t the first time he was called that, actually. Bokuto said it once and Akaashi called him that whenever he arrived late in practice (Nishinoya called him a diva) all of which were done good-naturedly. And yet somehow, they stung a bit. Because behind the half meant jokes, Tooru knew it was true… at least when it comes to the  _ selfish  _ part. “Take that back.” 

“Oh, so I hit a nerve?” Iwaizumi looked up at him, a small smirk playing on his lips and if he just looked half as hot as he was at that moment, Tooru would have demanded an apology. But the glint on his hazel eyes was enough to stop any protest coming out of Tooru’s lips. He looked away instead. “So it’s okay to give me a nickname and I don’t get to give you one? You’re not that fair, aren’t you,  _ princess? _ ”

“Shut up.” Tooru snapped, rolling his eyes at the guy who was looking sexy as fuck as he strode towards the kitchen counter and sat on one of the stools. He frowned, “Hey,  _ princess.” _

_ “ _ Stop calling me th--”

“Your eggs are burning.”

Tooru’s eyes widened and he turned to the charred eggs in the pan. He panicked and turned off the fire immediately, clicking his tongue angrily as he walked over the trashcan to throw the wasted eggs. “See what you made me do?” He complained and Hajime almost sputtered his coffee at that. “Excuse me? What  _ I  _ made  _ you  _ do?” 

“Yup. This is entirely your fault.” Tooru challenged giving him a stink eye. Hajime was glaring at him and  _ goddammit  _ but Tooru found the intensity in his eyes incredibly hot. “How about you make up for it by showing me around campus?”

“Huh? And why do I have to do that?” Hajime hissed.

“Because you made me waste my eggs.”

Hajime gaped at him for a while, without saying anything, until he finally sighed and shook his head, “Did anybody ever tell you you have a shitty personality?”

Tooru pouted at him, “Why are you so mean?” He wanted to look hurt but Hajime’s intent gaze was distracting as it was, “I should call you  _ Shittykawa _ .”

“Hah!” He looked scandalized, “You wouldn’t dare!” Hajime chuckled and the sound was too beautiful Tooru found himself smiling. It was also the first genuine smile he gave for quite some time now since he couldn’t smile at Daichi without feeling a sense of guilt and pain. It was a pretty good development when all of a sudden, Hajime’s phone rang. He picked it up immediately, sliding off the stool.

“Issei.” His voice was cool and collected, Tooru admired the way his timbre switched immediately. He couldn’t hear what he was talking about but he looked pretty distressed. He entered his room only to emerge a few minutes later, already wearing a black turtleneck and dark jeans. Tooru ignored the sudden costume change and focused on sitting down one of the stools, his breakfast plate in front of him. He vaguely heard Hajime say “Okay. I’ll see you.” before he hung up.

Tooru finally looked up at Hajime who began frantically searching in his duffel bag. There was a voice inside his head urging him to ask what’s the problem but he also knew it isn’t his place yet. 

Hajime seemed to sense his eyes on him and he looked up at Tooru with an unreadable expression, “I need to get going now.” He said and Tooru ignored the annoying voice inside his head which said:  _ Awww… _

Tooru nodded and gave him a smile, “Medical students sure are busy.” Hajime shrugged “You could say that.” 

“At least the literature department’s classes won’t start until Monday.” 

“Yeah, you’re pretty lucky.” He said slinging his bag over his shoulder. He turned to Tooru with an unexpectedly worried expression but the look disappeared immediately which meant he was just probably imagining it, “I won’t be coming home for a few days.” He paused then as if an idea came to him, laid out his hand to him, “Give me your phone.”

Tooru blinked at him, “Huh? Why do you need my phone?”

“So I could save my number, stupid.” Hajime gave him an incredulous look, “At least when the house goes on fire, I won’t even bother coming home.”

“Hey! The eggs were a one-time thing! You were talking to me so I got a bit distracted.”

Hajime shrugged and Tooru, despite the petulant pout on his face, did produce his phone and gave it to the guy who immediately put in his number. He also used Tooru’s phone to call his phone so he could save the guy’s number in his before he gave it back.

“What is my contact name in your phone?” Tooru asked.

“Tooru fucking princess.” Hajime said without any hint of teasing. Tooru frowned again, but he did give a sly grin, “I’ll save yours as  _ Iwa-chan _ , then _. _ Two can play the game, Iwa-chan.”

Hajime grunted but didn’t complain about it. “I’m going now.” Tooru nodded and waved him goodbye, “See you!” When he was at the engawa, Tooru remembered how the guy didn’t have anything to eat. Quickly grabbing a pack of milk bread, Tooru raced towards the door and caught up to Hajime putting his shoes on, “Iwa-chan, wait!”

Hajime looked up curiously at him, “What--” Tooru pushed the pack of milk bread to his face forcing the other guy to back away, “Eat this. You didn’t have breakfast.”

Hajime stared at the bread on his hands--an unreadable expression in his face and Tooru could swear, it closely resembled a look of hurt. But it was gone before Tooru could put his finger on what it actually was. Hajime took the bread from him and muttered a “Thanks.” without even lifting his eyes to meet Tooru’s before he wordlessly went out the apartment.

When Tooru was alone, he walked back towards the kitchen to retrieve his neglected breakfast and to send a quick message to Keiji.

**_Tooru: I think…_ **

**_Tooru: I have a crush on him._ **

_ Oh no. _

 

\---

 

There was just no way Oikawa Tooru would stay cooped up in their apartment for a long time. After the hearty breakfast, he went down to the apartment’s lobby, smartphone in hand, determined to navigate around the campus.

“Oh, the pretty boy is here.”

The familiar voice caught him off-guard as he stood in front of the bulletin board of the apartment building, reading some announcements.  _ Huh? _ He looked and saw Kuroo in a red jersey standing a few feet away, wearing a sly grin. He frowned remembering what happened yesterday. He didn’t want to talk to him at all.  _ Especially if he continues to refer to him as pretty boy. _

He noticed a smaller guy wearing the same jersey as Kuroo was standing beside him--with awkwardly bleached hair regarding him with wide curious eyes. Kuroo followed his gaze and turned to the guy, “Oh right. Sorry I didn’t introduce you. This is Kozume Kenma.” He said, “And he is Oikawa Tooru. Remember I told you about him yesterday,  _ Kitten? _ ”

He smiled at the guy who gave him a small nod.  _ Kitten _ . So this is Kuroo’s boyfriend? The bitter taste in his mouth was back and he wanted to spite Kuroo because Kenma looked so vulnerable and insecure.  _ What the fuck? _ But he didn’t have the chance because suddenly, Kuroo was pushing the smaller guy gently towards him. “Why don’t you wait with him, Kitten while I fetch the car?” 

Kenma and Tooru looked at each other then casted a worried look over at Kuroo who saw no problem in this. “What?” Kenma asked and Kuroo shrugged, “You hate walking to the parking lot. You might as well stay here… get acquainted with him? God knows you need more friends.”

He didn’t even wait for Kenma to respond nor for Tooru to actually say something because he was already up and running towards the exit.

Tooru glanced awkwardly at Kenma who was still looking at the door where Kuroo disappeared to. He was so small it felt like someone left a younger brother in his care but of course, he couldn’t say that. He tapped his foot on the floor and decided to might as well strike up a conversation, “So… what department do you--”

“How did you meet Kuroo?” His question was cut off by Kenma’s curt and quick question. He blinked at him as the smaller guy looked up at him, eyes inquisitive it almost felt like he was being interrogated. 

Tooru lost his ability to talk right there and then. He opened his mouth to say something but what could he say without disclosing the circumstance he met Kuroo. Hajime’s words rang in his ears about minding his own business because really, it was never like him to…

“He’s in our apartment yesterday.” Tooru blurted out. He was so shocked, he clamped a hand over his mouth as Kenma’s eyes widened for a minute before it once again settled in that calm, collected expression, except he had turned away from Tooru’s curious gaze. 

“So, he did that again, huh?” Kenma wasn’t waiting for an answer nor an affirmation and Tooru realized this probably wasn’t the first time this happened. A sudden surge of anger started bubbling up inside him that he needed to take in deep breaths to calm himself.

All Hajime’s words of minding his own business flew out the window because  _ fuck Kuroo, he doesn’t get to cheat on his boyfriend and still get to keep that said boyfriend.  _ “You know…”

“Don’t do it.” Kenma cut him off again, without even looking at him. His voice was sharp and commanding, yet Tooru could swear he sounded like he was about to cry, “Whatever you are about to say, I already know. So, don’t say it.”

Tooru gaped at him, disbelieving what he just heard.  _ This guy _ would rather be cheated on than leave Kuroo? And why? Was he hopelessly, desperately in love with him that he’d rather have him cheat and stay than just go? He wanted to say something. He wanted to ask  _ why _ ? But it wasn’t his place to question anything. The two of them have their own story.

He has his own. And quite frankly, his story wasn’t also something he was proud of. Pining after his best friend, secretly hoping he’d feel the same way someday wasn’t any better than what Kenma was doing. He just didn’t know which was worse.

The awkward silence didn’t last long as he excused himself, saying he had to familiarize himself around campus which was an actual truth. Kenma nodded at him and didn’t say a single word until he went out the lobby.

He decided to shoot Hajime a message, because Kenma is his friend and he didn’t want to offend the guy, really.

**_Tooru: Met Kenma. Don’t think he likes me._ **

 

\---

He didn’t hear from Hajime the entire day which he spent trying to find his way all around campus. He visited his future classrooms, the library in their department and the popular spots for students. It was such a huge campus and by the time he was finished, it was already dark and his feet were aching from too much walking.

He settled on the cafeteria below their apartment building for dinner as he wasn’t sure if he had any energy left to cook. He was busily watching some comedy skit on the TV in the common area when his phone buzzed. 

His heart, stupidly skipped when he saw where it came from.

**_Iwa-chan: Kenma doesn’t like anyone. Save for Kuroo._ **

**_Tooru: Is that supposed to make me feel better?_ **

**_Iwa-chan: No_ **

**_Tooru: Why are you so mean?_ **

**_Iwa-chan: Why are you even texting me? Is the house already on fire?_ **

**_Tooru: That happened once! Why the hell are you bringing that up?!_ **

**_Tooru: I just... thought I should just let you know I pissed off your friend’s boyfriend_ **

**_Iwa-chan: I don’t give a shit_ **

**_Tooru: Rude_ **

**_Iwa-chan: Go apologize then_ **

**_Tooru: How? (TT__TT)_ **

 

He waited for a response but there was none. He wondered why he even bothered waiting. It wasn’t like it would make a difference. When he told Keiji he had a crush on the guy, Keiji said it was normal especially if he was hot. There was nothing to it. Sooner or later, once he got to know him better, his crush would fade.

Still, it wasn’t the reason why he should not entertain the tingling sensation behind his ears and the soft fluttering of his stomach. It had been so long since he nursed a giddy emotion like this and it all feels too foreign for him. He liked talking to Iwaizumi Hajime. At least, he could establish that one easily.

He was already inside the apartment when his phone buzzed again. Excited to know if it was from Hajime, he picked up his phone and checked the notification.

_ He shouldn’t have. _ In a split second, the giddy feeling was gone--followed by a sinking, hollow feeling in the pit of his stomach. And he almost wanted to chuckle to himself at the ridiculousness of what he was feeling. It was stupid to hope because it didn't matter how quick or how long...  _He would always, always go back to square one._

 

**+++**

 


	5. Milk Bread Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pain wasn’t new to him. Unrequited love usually means you live in constant pain so Oikawa Tooru had one very effective way of coping with it. 
> 
> He writes songs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first. You might want to listen to this song:
> 
>  
> 
> [ Beautiful World by the Charm Park](https://play.spotify.com/track/64xWF6wfcutz8hcqFkhmMx?play=true&utm_source=open.spotify.com&utm_medium=open)
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter has some reference to this song (and might be mentioned in the next chapters) so I hope you do check it out :) I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and stay with me until the end of the entire fanfiction. 
> 
> As always, kudos and your comments help keep me inspired in writing this. Thank you! <3

_**What started off a beautiful world** _

_**It almost had enough to make you smile** _

_**But some will tell me everything's not where it's supposed to be...** _

Nobody told Oikawa Tooru how it was like to fall in love. Nobody told him falling in love with your best friend was the most dangerous thing that could happen. Realizing it was worse. Before, he could pretend that what he was feeling for Daichi was normal friendship... they were always together, doing things together that people already considered them a package deal.  _You couldn't get one without the other._

But Tooru also knew, somehow, at the back of his mind, that friends don't get jealous and overly possessive on the other's time. They don't want to monopolize the person they are with. Friendships don't evolve that way.

 

_**...So it's time to give up everything about they understand** _

_**And the 'if' from all the past and all the signs of you should ask...** _

 

Pain wasn’t new to him. Unrequited love usually means you live in constant pain so Tooru had one very effective way of coping with it. 

_He writes songs._

When he received the message from Daichi, he didn’t even try to console himself by crying. He went back to his room, grabbed his notebook where he writes his lyric drafts and took out the only musical instrument he brought from their house--his trusty acoustic guitar which Daichi gave him on his birthday. 

It was pretty ironic and pretty _fucking_ stupid, if you think about it. How the only coping mechanism he has from Daichi was also something he got from the same guy. _It’s too fucked up._

_But so was he._

Sugawara was finally moving in to live with Daichi. The news didn’t come as a surprise-- it was something he knew was bound to happen anyway, even when Daichi never really explicitly said it. He just didn’t expect things to move this fast.

 _But really, what did he expect?_ Of course, Daichi didn’t have to inform him about it, he moved out and Daichi could pretty much do anything and take anyone in as a new roommate. He was probably letting Tooru know of this latest development because this was also a big thing for him. And Tooru was still his best friend.

Nevermind that this decision happened a day after Tooru left. Nevermind that it was impossible to make that kind of decision within a single day, meaning they would have probably talked about this months ago (when he announced his intention of moving out) and didn’t tell him.

Not that they had to, but it wouldn’t hurt if Daichi shared his plans with him because… _well they are best friends, aren’t they?_ He didn’t understand why Daichi didn’t tell him about this before. When he was still convincing Tooru to stay, was it all just an act?

He shut down all those thoughts and focused on writing… scribbling out words, pouring himself into the song; hoping every raw feeling would be scraped off with every syllable, every _fucking_ phrase staining the paper... but it wouldn’t.

He refused to cry for him. He took deep breaths and bit on his lower lip too hard until his teeth left their marks. He strummed on his guitar harder, the strings hurting his calloused fingers but he needed the music, or just the sound really. Because the silence would force him to think and he didn’t want to.

He was getting good at this, too. Controlling his tears and writing off his feelings was and would never be easy, but at least he didn’t feel like he was drowning anymore. At least, he didn’t have to catch his breath at moments when suddenly, the pain became too much.

Maybe he’d be able to get through this. Maybe, one day he’d forget that once upon a time, Oikawa Tooru fell in love with his best friend. A boy with dark eyes and summer smile. With a voice made in heaven and a warm, sincere heart. He could only hope.

_**...Imagine if this pain is from the pain I ask of you** _

_**Forgive me. Forgive me. Forgive me.** _

\---

 

Tooru was on autopilot mode for the next days. He wakes up, takes a bath, eats breakfast then goes for a walk until the sun becomes too hot for a proper stroll. Sometimes, he would stop by the medical department, allowing himself to imagine Hajime walking out from the white gargantuan building. He didn’t know where that thought nor hope came from, but it was always there, anyway.

After lunch, he would spend the entire day in the library--reading any books he could get his hands on and would only go home when it’s time for dinner and his stomach is growling. Home--is an empty apartment because Hajime was never home, anyway.

To be honest, Tooru didn’t expect his first week in uni to be this… _boring._

Sunday evening came and he was more than ready for his first day as a Tokyo University student. He exchanged a few messages with Keiji who he informed about the new song he wrote which he could send over if the band wanted it.

Keiji didn’t ask more details about it, just said that he would ask Daichi if he was interested but added that he probably would be more than happy to play it. Keiji also gave him an update on the new gig schedule, and invited him over, even if he wouldn’t play because Nishinoya kept bugging him about it.

He gave a noncommittal response, because he wasn’t sure if he would be busy once classes start… or if he would like to see Sugawara in his previous band position. Especially when he and Daichi hadn’t spoken since his last message.

 _Speaking of which…_ He opened the message again and tried to make a proper response, though he knew it would be pretty hard to explain why he only replied now. Nevertheless, he was on the process of typing in his message when the door of their apartment opened.

He almost hit send when a semi-alive Iwaizumi Hajime half-dragged himself across the living room, throwing his bag on the floor and dove face down, head first on the couch, a few inches away from Tooru. He almost laughed at the comical way he did it, but he was too shocked that he just stared at him for a good few seconds before he finally managed to find his voice, “Uh… Iwa-chan?”

Hajime just grunted without lifting his head up and for some reason, Tooru found it adorable. The man didn’t look any good--his clothes were crumpled and dirty in so many spaces and judging from the way his body practically molded into the shape of the couch, Tooru was sure, he had a long, tiring day… or days.

He chuckled, “Are we communicating like Neantherdals now? You know, it’s disrespectful to the fathers of modern speech.”

Hajime finally raised his head to look at Tooru with half-lidded, annoyed eyes and Tooru couldn’t help but notice the bags under them. His hazel eyes were clouded with exhaustion and from where Tooru was sitting, it kind of looked softer _._ “I said… don’t fucking call me Iwa-chan.”

Tooru pouted, “Hey! I thought we’re already over giving each other nicknames?”

Hajime groaned as he pushed himself up painfully from the couch and dug in his pockets to get some cigarette, “Just shut up for a minute, Shittykawa _._ ” His voice was rough and tired but Tooru frowned when he recovered a pack of cigarette from his back pocket. “You look tired.”

“Thanks for that, Captain Obvious.” Hajime rolled his eyes, lighting up the cigarette. It was Tooru’s turn to roll his eyes this time, “I was just thinking you should stop smoking. It’s bad for you.”

Hajime snorted but didn’t answer. Tooru sighed, “Have you had dinner?” He watched as Hajime puffed his cigarette, held his breath and laid his head on the couch’s backrest. He watched his adam’s apple bobbed as he inhaled the smoke and exhaled it out his nose in a white stream. “I haven’t had dinner yet.” Tooru continued which wasn’t true. But he didn’t mind having it again if it meant he would get to eat with someone.

“You’re too noisy.” Hajime complained, crushing the remaining cigarette on the ashtray at the low table. Tooru pouted, “Well I’m sorry. I was just used to having meals with my flatmate before. And it’s kind of lonely not having anyone to talk to on my first days here at uni.” He had to say it because when he was still living with Daichi, they made sure they would not miss eating meals together no matter how busy they are.

Hajime didn’t respond and he actually looked like he fell asleep. “Right.” Tooru said softly, sighing to himself. He gave him a smile even when he knew the guy wouldn’t see him , “I have an early class tomorrow.” _A lie. His first class would start at 1PM._ “I’ll go ahead now. Good night, Iwa-chan.”

He picked up the book he was reading before Hajime came in and started walking towards his room when Hajime finally broke the silence.

“Breakfast.”

Tooru stopped in his tracks and looked back, “Huh?”

Hajime was looking at him with those tired, hazel eyes, “Tomorrow…” He said, “Let’s have breakfast tomorrow. You’re cooking.”

 

That night, the message for Daichi was never sent. 

\---

 

**_Tooru: Keiji._ **

  _ **K**_ ** _eiji: What?_**

**_Tooru: He is really cute._ **

**_Keiji: And you’re telling me this because?_ **

**_Tooru: Oh come on. You’re my friend._ **

**_Keiji: Ah, right._ **

**_Tooru: Don’t be so stingy. Could you at least be happy for me?_ **

**_Keiji: You mean I should be happy you’re flirting with someone to replace your unrequited love from your best friend of many years?_ **

**_Tooru: Why are you so rude? And by the way, I am not flirting with him!_ ** **_⋋_ ** **___ ** **_⋌_ **

**_Keiji: Go away, Oikawa. I’m busy._ **

_**Tooru: Why are you busy at this hour?** _

_**Tooru: Oh... wait... Are you with Bokuto right now?** _

_**Tooru: You totally are, aren't you?! You sleazy bastard!** _

_**Tooru: You two are fucking right now, aren't you? Oh my god! My eyes! They're burning.** _

 

\---

 

He didn’t care if Keiji thinks he was being pathetic. When Tooru woke up the next day, there was a lightness in his steps, a flurry in his stomach which originated somewhere he didn’t know but he welcomed it with open arms. 

He was excited and he couldn’t hide it. Not when he woke up two hours earlier than usual to prepare for breakfast only to spend an hour deciding what to cook and ending up with a traditional Japanese breakfast of miso soup, grilled mackerel and rice. He was unfocused, distracted and overly jumpy that when he heard Hajime’s bedroom door creak open, he almost jumped in surprise and dropped the plate with the grilled fish.

Unlike the other time, Hajime didn’t just come from a bath. His hair was a mess and his face was scrunched up in a tired frown. At least, he had enough strength to change into proper sleeping clothes (a shirt and some sweatpants) because Tooru half-expected him to saunter to the kitchen in the same clothes he came home last night.

“Good morning, Iwa-chan!” Tooru practically chirped. Hajime nodded and grunted at the same time. Tooru was becoming used to the primeval sounds Hajime is making when he didn’t want to speak. “Coffee.” Hajime grabbed his _Iwa-chan_ mug and poured himself a cup, giving Tooru a side glance. His frown deepened, “You look too happy.”

Tooru didn’t even try to deny it, “I am.” He nodded giving a bright smile, “It’s the first time we’re actually having a chance to talk.” Hajime glared at him with an annoyed expression, “Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“That stupid fake smile.”

"Hey, my smile is not fake! I always have a genuine expression in my face."

Hajime shrugged, "Whatever. Not my problem anyway." Hajime didn’t give him the time to react because he had already moved to sit on one of the stools, looking over at the plates Tooru had laid out, "So, we're going traditional Japanese breakfast today, huh? Are you trying to impress me with your cooking range?"

Tooru batted his lashes at him playfully, "Depends on whether you were actually impressed." He gave the man a pair of chopsticks before he took the seat beside him. Hajime gingerly took a piece of the fish, chewed it carefully before nodding, "Not bad,  _princess._ "

He wanted to lash out at the nickname but chose not to because he, at least told him that his food wasn't so bad. "Ah, you're impressed. I am touched." Hajime snorted, "All this you had to do two hours before I wake up." 

"Wha--"

"I woke up,  _baka._ You think someone could sleep through all the noise you were making with the plates and pans? Not to mention you were humming to yourself,  _again._ " 

Tooru looked down, suddenly embarrassed. His mind kept on making up some excuse but Hajime was simply smirking at him, a smug look on his  _perfect_ face.  _Fuck, he didn't want to think that._ "Still, I don't know why you would put so much effort in this. It's not like having breakfast together is special." Hajime said, "If you were so lonely, you could have went across the hall and asked Kuroo and Kenma."

Tooru snorted at the preposterous idea, "Ugh. I'd die first before I have breakfast with your sleazy friend."

Hajime chuckled, "He's a nice guy. He has just some issues..." Then as an after thought, "Everyone has one, I suppose."

"Still not an excuse to cheat on his boyfriend."

"You really are passionate about that issue, aren't you?"

"Because it's unfair! And it sucks that Kenma is totally okay with that!"

"Like I told you. It's not my business nor it is yours. So leave your nose out of anyone's life."

"You make it sound like caring is a bad thing."

Hajime didn't answer. Tooru thought about it and couldn't shake the need to punch some sense into Kenma. He wanted the guy to see what kind of douche he is in love with. He wanted to do something about it, but  _what?_ He didn't speak again for the duration of the breakfast, until Hajime casually asked him what he did in the past few days which he was actually not so eager to share because... well...

But at least, Hajime seemed interested enough, or at least pretended to be interested enough so he did relate to him what he did, save for  _that_ time. Soon enough, the flow of topics came naturally between them, on Tooru more than Hajime who only gave occasional comments and responses to Tooru's enthusiastic chitchats. 

“I think one of my friends is also in the literature department.” Hajime said in between mouthfuls of rice and fish. “Really? Do you think I’d meet him?” Tooru was ecstatic at a potential of meeting a new friend. Hajime shrugged, “Maybe. We’re not really close.”

 _Are you even close to anyone?_ Tooru wanted to ask but didn’t. Instead, he finished the last spoonful of his rice and excused himself to grab some milk bread from their supplies for dessert. Hajime noticed this and he suddenly stiffened.

“Do you want one?” Tooru asked.

It took a moment before Hajime replied, “No, I... don't eat that.”

"The way you said it made me feel like I'm making you eat poison." Tooru was about to laugh but frowned when he saw the unusual expression on Hajime’s face. He must be imagining things though, so he proceeded in eating the soft bread. Hajime kept staring at him, “Do you… love milk bread?”

Tooru shrugged, “I didn’t before, but well... It’s just…” He grinned, remembering something, “Can I tell you a weird story?” He expected a _Hell no!_ from Hajime but the guy’s eyes never left him so he took that as a sign to continue, “When I was in high school, I confessed to someone and eventually got my heart broken.” Tooru paused as painful memories began to resurface from the back of his mind but he pushed them away and focused on the green forest that were Hajime’s eyes, “I cried at the roof of my high school, you know… because I was young and naive. Then a stranger… I didn’t know what he looked like… was also there and heard me crying. He dropped something by my feet and left right after. The thing he dropped…”

“...was milk bread.” Hajime whispered, his eyes suddenly distant like he was looking at something else. Witnessing a scene in front of him that only he could see. Tooru’s grin disappeared, “What’s the problem?” 

Hajime blinked back at him, as if he just saw him for the first time. He cleared his throat, “Sorry… I just remembered someone.” 

“Someone?”

“Just someone who loves eating milk bread like you.” His voice was soft and if Tooru was being honest, sounded sad. He didn't know why but hearing and seeing Hajime like that made his heart constrict painfully, like someone was driving a nail into his chest. He tried to lighten up the mood, “Really? Is he the same person in the literature department? I’d love to meet him someday.” Tooru grinned, “You know what they say, people with the same taste in food usually gets along well.”

He watched as Hajime’s face grow dark, watched as his mood dampened every bright speck in his eyes. And Tooru suddenly wanted to take the question back even if he didn’t find anything offensive about it. But it was really just too late.

“No.” Hajime said in a silent voice, “That person... is dead.”

 

**+++**


	6. Maybe's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keiji: He still hasn’t come home, has he?
> 
> Tooru: …
> 
> Tooru: No.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took a while for this update. I was a bit busy. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thank you! :)
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated!

**_Tooru: That’s it. We’re totally over._ **

**_Keiji: I thought we’d long established that._ **

**_Tooru: Not that one. I mean me and Iwa-chan._ **

**_Keiji: WHAT?! You mean your totally non-existent relationship with your flatmate has ended?_ **

**_Tooru: You are so mean Aka-chan! °(ಗдಗ。)°._ **

**_Keiji: Fine. What happened?_ **

**_Tooru: I pried too much about his friend and he had to tell me the guy’s already dead._ **

**_Tooru: What do I do???_ **

**_Keiji: I don’t know. Move on?_ **

**_Tooru: I can’t do that._ **

**_Keiji: I don’t know what you want to hear from me._ **

**_Tooru: Something encouraging?_ **

**_Keiji: Okay. How about… at least you know something about him now?_ **

**_Tooru: You’re not even helping!!!_ **

**_Keiji: Then stop messaging me!_ **

 

\---

 

Walking up to class without carrying his trusty guitar, Tooru felt stripped of his confidence. Perhaps, there was also something unnerving after seeing the expanse of the auditorium type classroom and the absence of musical instruments in every corner.

Maybe it also had something to do with the awkward conversation he left hanging with Hajime that morning. Or maybe it was a little of everything.

Tooru fixed his glasses and took the empty seat closest to the door. It was beside a small bright-eyed boy with an infectious smile and eye poppingly orange hair. “Hi! Good morning!” The boy greeted him the moment he pulled the seat next to him. 

Tooru stared down at the small boy and flashed a smile, “Hi! Good morning, too.” The boy’s smile stretched wider and Tooru almost blinked back because it was too bright for his currently confused mind, “I’m Hinata Shouyo.”

The boy offered a hand and Tooru took it gingerly, “Oikawa Tooru. Nice to meet you.” The conversation right after then flowed naturally after the initial conversation. Shouyo was a ball of energy and Tooru was attracted by the positive vibes radiating from him.

He was younger than Tooru, which was probably the case for most of his classmates in Philosophy and the rest of his other classes during the day. Thankfully, Shouyo and him clicked and by the end of the day, they were already exchanging numbers.

“Do you live nearby?” Shouyo asked as the two walked down the hall towards the library.

It was almost six in the evening and yet the hallway was still buzzing with students, some already on their way home while some on their way to their evening classes. Tooru couldn’t help but compare how different life in a huge university from his old life in  Kunitachi College of Music.

But at least, he had Shouyo with him “Yeah, I share an apartment with someone.” He gave a casual response and yet for some reason, Shouyo’s eyes sparkled with curiosity, “Someone? A  _ special someone? _ ”1

Tooru blinked at him, confused. “Eh? What do you mean  _ Chibi-chan? _ ” 

Shouyo frowned at the nickname which Tooru gave him during Asian Literature when the professor told Shouyo looked like a small high school student. He opened his mouth to say something again but the shorty was already babbling away, “I’m also living with a special someone! My boyfriend is also a first year at the medical department.”

“Boyfriend?” Before he could stop himself, the word was already out his mouth. He bit his lip hoping he didn’t sound too shocked or anything as to not offend the smaller boy. Thankfully, Shouyo didn’t seem to notice, “Yeah! We came from the same high school but we just got together on our last year but… sorry. I am talking too much, ain’t I?”

Tooru actually didn’t mind. Except some slightly tall guy with dark hair, dark eyes and a very foul expression was walking towards them--or more explicitly, towards Shouyo, before he grabbed the guy’s head from the back, “Oi, Hinata-boke! What the hell are you babbling about?”

Shouyo whined in pain before he turned around, grabbed the guy’s hand from his head and frowned, “Speak of the devil.” The guy didn’t look apologetic, but he did retreat his hand and placed them inside his jacket. “That hurts!”

“I told you to stop talking about  _ that  _ to anyone.” The guy’s voice was dangerous.

Shouyo turned to Tooru, “He is not just  _ anyone _ . He is Oikawa Tooru and he’s my friend.” Tooru gave the guy a friendly smile but he merely glared at him. “Oikawa-san…” Shouyo started, “This is Kageyama Tobio. The person I was talking about earlier…”

“Oi, boke!” Tobio grabbed Hinata by his right ear and pulled so hard that Shouyo screamed. It was amusing, for Tooru at least.

“Ow! Tobio! Stop it!” Shouyo complained again and the guy dropped his hand. “Why are you here anyway?” Tobio’s cheeks blushed a bright scarlet as he looked away with a petulant scowl on his face, “Are you stupid? I came to pick you up.”

Tooru felt a pang of envy shoot up from his chest, especially when he saw Shouyo’s face brighten up like the sun. He wondered what it would feel like to have  _ that _ . Someone waiting for you outside to pick you up so you could get home together. He thought about nice it would feel to have someone to walk home together.

He remembered Daichi hurrying up one time just to pick up and surprise Sugawara when he went out of town for a competition. Daichi looked like he was going to a date, he even brought flowers, saying it was to congratulate Sugawara for winning. He didn’t come home that night.

Seeing Shouyo and Tobio walk together at a very close distance, even if they were not touching, Tooru couldn’t help but realize how beautiful young love between two people is. He wondered, if he wasn’t in love with Daichi, would he have seen his relationship with Sugawara as beautiful? Would he have marveled at it instead of spite every moment they do things together, silently hoping it was with him, instead?

Maybe, he really was just being selfish. Really, really selfish. 

He needed to think this through, and the empty apartment he came home to was a welcome relief for his troubled mind.

\---

 

**_Shouyo: Tooruuuu! Good morning!_ **

**_Tooru: Ohayou, Chibi-chan!_ **

**_Shouyo: See you later at class!_ **

**_Tooru: See you!!!_ **

 

\---

 

**_Tooru: I can’t believe Sato-sensei is giving us a project this early in the semester. It’s only been what? Almost two weeks?_ **

**_Keiji: Aren’t you the one excited about this?_ **

**_Tooru: I am!!!_ **

**_Keiji: Then what are you complaining about?_ **

**_Tooru: ( >人<)_ **

**_Keiji: He still hasn’t come home, has he?_ **

**_Tooru: …_ **

**_Tooru: No._ **

 

\---   
  


“You should quit smoking.” Iwaizumi Hajime gave his close friend, Matsukawa Issei an incredulous look simply because at the very moment the man had said that, he was currently swallowing down a puff of smoke down his lungs.

So Hajime just shook his head and lit up another one, looking up at the moon-less but star-filled sky. They were on the rooftop of the medicine department of Tokyo U, having just finished their last rounds in the hospital which was just a few blocks away from where they were now. He puffed out the smoke and watched the string of gas rise up and disappear into thin air. He closed his eyes as the cold, spring breeze lulled him to sleep.

“How long was it this time?” Issei asked beside him and Hajime didn’t even pretend not to know what he was talking about. He gave a tired groan and replied, “Two weeks, I guess?”

“That’s a record.” Issei said puffing smoke again, “Mine was just one week. I went home and found our dorm in chaos.” They laughed together, Hajime knowing despite Issei’s complaints, he had long been infatuated with his roommate, Hanamaki Takahiro, a film major in Musashino Art University, but there was just no way he’d be able to bring himself and say it out loud.

“Well, are you not coming home yet?” Issei asked again after a while and after another cigarette. The weather was getting chillier and it really was a stroke of luck that Issei found Hajime here since in between classes and hospital shifts, they haven’t been seeing each other as often as before.

Hajime shook his head, “In a while. I just have to check on Kudo-sensei’s specimens before I go home. He’d go ballistic if I forgot about them.” There was exasperation in Hajime’s voice as he took another drag of his cigarette.

“Still no progress, huh?” Issei smirked and Hajime sighed, “Yeah. He’s getting worse everyday, too.”

“Well, I don’t envy you.” Issei chuckled unhelpfully. The entire department knew about Kudo-sensei’s temperamental mood swings but the guy’s a genius. And if there was anyone in their batch who could take being under his tutelage, it would be no other than Hajime Iwaizumi--the star student in their class.

“Thanks, that’s really helpful.” Hajime would have rolled his eyes if they weren’t half-closing now because of lack of sleep. The chilly air wasn’t helping either. “It’s been total hell. He’s been messing up things everyday and I’ve been stressing over fixing those things for him.”

“So that’s why you’re extra grumpy these past few days.” Issei noted and Hajime didn’t even feel the need to deny that. He had been in a terrible mood the past week, with Kudo-sensei being irrational, and the other assistant, Yahaba Shigeru always skipping his shift at checking on the progress of their research. He felt like he was working on the project alone.

“You should get a pet.” Issei said after a while and Iwaizumi thought he misheard him, “Huh?”

“I mean, you’re stressed, you live alone. Having a pet would make your mood better.” Issei said, “You could get a low-maintenance one, too. Like a fish or an iguana.”

Hajime just gaped at him until he realized Issei was not kidding, “Do you know how stupid you sound just now?”

_ Right.  _ He hasn’t told Issei yet about his new flatmate. Well, to be fair he didn’t have much time anyway.

It had been six months since his old flat mate, Tsukishima Kei transferred to Kyoto and during those past months, Hajime hasn’t gone home that much because he was too busy, anyway with his erratic schedule at the hospital and assisting Kudo-sensei on his research.

He and Kei weren’t exactly buddies… but he is Akiteru’s younger brother, and Akiteru just happens to be Hajime’s childhood friend. Though the brothers differ greatly from each other in so many levels--whence Akiteru is warm and friendly, Kei is aloof and indifferent, at least Kei provided company. They rarely see each other and during the times they did, rarely spoke, but the two of them already had a habit and managed to follow a system in order to live in harmony. Kei may not have provided a good company, but at least, he knew how to cook.

“Hey! I’m just suggesting!” Issei said defensively and Hajime just shook his head, “Anyway, my new flatmate just moved in.” 

“A new flatmate, huh.” Issei said, blowing more smoke into the air. He should be surprised by this new development, especially when Hajime never told him of his intention to taking in a new housemate. 

“Yeah. Oikawa Tooru. He’s in the literature department. Moved in almost three weeks ago.”

“What? You’re living with someone for almost a month and you just tell me now? Iwaizumi Hajime. I am fucking hurt.” He dramatically clamped his hand over his chest and Hajime gave him a look of disgust, “What the fuck are you saying?! You’re disgusting!”

But there was a hint of a smile on Hajime’s lips and Issei found himself smiling back. “Now, let’s see what this guy who stole Iwaizumi Hajime from me look like.” He pulled out his phone from his pocket and began looking up the name with Hajime telling how stupid he is beside him. He didn’t have to search long because  _ apparently _ , Oikawa Tooru is  _ fucking famous _ . 

He was gawking at his cellphone when Hajime, turned to him with a frown, “What?” Issei couldn’t respond. The shock left him speechless, so when Hajime as impatient as ever, grabbed the phone from his hand to browse the photos himself, he just let him.1

Sooner rather than later, Hajime was wearing the same expression Issei had.

There were a lot of photos online of the guy who apparently belonged in a local indie band. Most of them were of him on the stage, rocking on his guitar, the light spilling down on him, silhouette drawn against the dark stage. Photos of him smiling at the audience, brown hair sweaty and sticking to his face, chocolate eyes shining with exhilaration. Then, there are those of him with fangirls and fanboys seemingly at the backstage after a performance, his face sweaty and glowing under the lights.

And one thought kept running on Hajime’s mind:  _ Oikawa Tooru is fucking beautiful. _

Issei watched in amusement how Hajime’s eyes widened in surprise as he turned back to Issei. “Is that the Oikawa Tooru you are referring to?” He asked but Hajime didn’t have to answer because the confirmation was right there in his eyes.

“Did you know about this?” He asked again and Hajime shook his head, “We never really talked about this.” 

“Well, do you ever talk about anything to anyone?” He chuckled earning a glare from Hajime who thrusted the phone back to him, cheeks turning adorably and curiously pink, “It’s because I don’t snoop around other people’s businesses,  _ idiot. _ ”

Issei hummed in response, already used to his best friend’s indifference at getting to know people. Hajime is nice, reliable and trustworthy enough and ever since the two of them got lost together on their way to their Medical Neuroscience class, they somehow clicked--and yet, Issei was vaguely aware of a certain disconnection he and Hajime always had. And it wasn’t just on him, he realized that now, Hajime was generally like that with everyone. 

He couldn’t blame him though. If  _ that _ happened to him, too, it would also fuck him up.

Hajime snuffed out the light of his cigarette and tossed it in the trashcan near them, “I better get going. It’s almost morning now.”

Issei nodded at him as he picked his bag up and walked back in the building. A few more hours and morning would soon break, and he still had a lot to do.

 

\---

 

It was already four in the morning when he finished all his tasks in the laboratory. He was too tired and sleepy to drive his scooter so forewent driving and decided to walk back to his apartment.

There were already some early risers walking along the streets he was traversing, many of whom were out on their early morning jog. He glanced over at his clock to realize it was already Saturday morning. His schedule has made it impossible for him to keep track of the dates.

It had been almost two weeks since he last went home. Two weeks since Tooru and him had breakfast together which ended in an awkward conversation. It was part his fault, too. He didn’t have to bring up his past. He didn’t even have to sound like a total dick about it. But he did and Tooru had blinked up at him in total shock.

Tooru looked nervous and guilty, too at that time, as he mumbled a hasty apology. He claimed that he really ought to stop sticking his nose into anybody’s business and Hajime didn’t even made an effort to comfort or correct him. 

They were awkward the entire day and Tooru tried to avoid him the best way he could. Which was relatively easy considering Hajime spent his day sleeping in his room.

They didn’t see each other again until Hajime had to go back to uni.

He passed by a local bakeshop a few blocks from their apartment. One mean-looking clerk was manning the store glaring at the joggers passing by and Hajime wasn’t surprised that there was no visible line in front of the store.

Hajime stopped by and the clerk blinked at him groggily, “Sup, man?” He was about Hajime’s age with bald head and a menacing face, but seemed friendly enough despite his looks. Hajime nodded, “Can I have…” he paused.  _ What was he doing?  _ His eyes roamed the shelf before he saw what he was looking for at the furthest corner, “Those. Some milk bread, please.”

Hajime didn’t know why he was buying milk bread when he didn’t even like eating it. He didn’t understand why he paid for it and was carrying it all the way back to his apartment.

_ Akiteru loved milk bread _ . He didn’t share the unearthly love of the guy for some normal looking piece of soft bread. Bread was bread to him. But Akiteru was obsessed with it and ate it after every meal like a form of dessert.

He wondered if Tooru and Akiteru would get along well. Tooru said that people with the same taste in food usually do. But the two of them were so different and so similar in many ways. Akiteru was considerate and hard-working. As the eldest child, he was used to sacrificing things for his younger brother, Kei. 

Ever since their parents died in second year high school, Akiteru chose and gave up many things just so he and his brother would survive. He transferred from the private Aoba Johsai to the public school Karasuno High. He didn’t go to college and went straight to work after high school so Kei could study.

He was so overworked but didn’t complain to anyone. Even when he experienced some terrible stomach pains. Even when typical medication didn’t work. He didn’t stop working even when he was diagnosed with liver cancer a year ago.

Hajime wasn’t a full-fledged doctor yet. He couldn’t do much about it. Especially when he didn’t know. Nobody did. Not even Kei. And when they learned about it, it was already too late.

Kei went home to Kyoto six months ago to bury his brother.  _ Hajime didn’t go with him.  _ He didn't know how to face his best friend.

Hajime made sure not to make any noise when he opened the door to their apartment. He did call out “I’m home!” softly because he didn’t want to disturb the stillness of the house.

The house smelled like home--cigarettes which Kei hated and tried to remove by spraying unlimited aerosols which made the scent pungent. This time, however, a certain scent also wafted around the room like a cloak of sweetness. It was raspberry and it smelled like Tooru.

He walked in the living room to find a scene which wasn’t sure was adorable or annoying or a little of both. There were piles of books everywhere, like someone decided to put one section of the library and dump it here in their living room. They were books strewn across the floor like one was investigating a murder case and decided to lay out the evidences on the floor. Or a king planning an attack on another country who wanted to plot out his every move with books on the floor.

_ And the king was right in the middle of it all _ . Bathed in the early morning light, Hajime’s eyes zeroed in on Tooru’s sleeping form slumped over at the coffee table beside a still on laptop.

His arms were curled and cradling his head which was turned to one side, reading glasses  _ (he didn’t know he wears one) _ skewed a bit from being pushed forward, mouth slightly open and he was pretty sure the glinting on the corner of his lips was drool. His brown hair was a mess, sticking out in every direction imaginable and the loose knitted sweater was too big for him they sat awkwardly on his shoulders.

Hajime wondered how this guy looked so different from the guy he saw in Issei’s phone. Maybe he should snap some photos of this and send it over to his friend who texted him an hour ago how he is so lucky to have a  _ celebrity  _ roommate just to prove that having Tooru as a roommate isn’t that special  _ he is just human, moron. _

Except he wouldn’t. Not because it was disrespectful but because he didn’t want to share this view. He didn’t understand why but he felt good knowing Oikawa Tooru still had this side to him which he could keep for himself.  _ Why? _ He didn’t know. Because he wasn’t a possessive selfish kind of prick. He had never been and will never be.

_ Sure, he did want to. But he lost him even before he decided what to do about the feelings. _

He walked over to Tooru, careful not to step on any of the books on the floor and not to topple on the pile beside the sleeping guy’s foot. On closer look, he noticed Tooru has a really nice skin--smooth and milky white, you could have mistaken him for a girl. Except there was power in his expressions, and though he always appeared too needy, his voice always commanded attention.

It wasn’t surprising he was a popular guy.

He placed the bag of milk bread on the space right beside his sleeping head before Hajime turned to leave.

He was tired and his tired brain had been playing stupid tricks on him, telling him stupid ideas like _how it would feel to kiss Oikawa Tooru in the mouth._

**+++**   


  
  
  



	7. Some Kind of a Long Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Iwa-chan…” he called again finally taking one step inside, “There’s a call…” his voice trailed off when he saw… finally saw the guy sleeping on the bed and realized Hajime was naked!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyy! New chapter alert! I have a feeling I have to change the rating soon. *wink*
> 
> Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and leave a comment if you do. :)
> 
> Fun Fact about me:
> 
> I type my stories through my phone because I am a lazy bum who hates powering up my laptop. LOL

Tooru woke up with his alarm blaring against his ear and the vibration of his phone rousing him from sleep.

He rubbed his eyes awake, hoping it would wipe the sleep away from his eyes as he looked around the room, realizing he fell asleep last night as he was working on some assignments. He noticed a paper bag sitting in front of him which made him frown because he definitely didn’t remember going out last night to…

He grabbed it hurriedly, fully awake now and heart thumping quickly against his chest. He didn’t expect his stomach to flutter so much nor the heat which slowly crept up to his face when he realized what was inside the bag. He was also grinning from ear to ear as he looked around their apartment for any evidence that  _ Hajime is finally home _ .

He saw his duffel bag by the kitchen counter and a happiness blooms in his heart. “Iwa-chan!” He called but there was no response. He grabbed the paper bag with the milk bread and hobbled over the kitchen counter to eat when he heard a phone vibrating.

It wasn’t his phone--and it was coming from the duffel bag which meant the call was for Hajime. He decided to ignore it--whoever was calling could call again when Hajime is awake and could talk to him. After the ringing ended, the phone rang again. And again. And again.

Tooru was restless. What if the call was an emergency? What if… So when the fifth ring ended, he groaned to himself and fished the phone out of the duffel bag to check out the owner.

He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t just ignore the call which honestly was none of his business, but he found himself knocking softly on the other guy’s door. “Iwa-chan, it’s me. Can I come in?”

No response. That should have been his cue not to proceed but before he knew it, he was pushing the door open and peeking inside.

Because of the dark green curtains on the window, blocking the morning sun, the room was drenched in a mossy green light. The interior looked just like his room, only neater with a shelf filled with of medical books, a desk with a microscope and other boring stuff. It looked normal except for some Godzilla posters hanging by the desk which made him snicker to himself. He didn’t expect Hajime to be obsessed with…  _ well, he shouldn’t judge because there were tons of alien posters and figures in his room anyway. _

His eyes roamed further into the bed where a silhouette of a guy lying in a prone position, could still be traced against the room’s light. “Iwa-chan…” he whispered, never leaving his spot right outside the door. He knew it was wrong to peek into one’s room but he reasoned to himself that there was an emergency call Hajime had to answer.

“Iwa-chan…” he called again finally taking one step inside, “There’s a call…” his voice trailed off when he saw…  _ finally saw _ the guy sleeping on the bed and realized Hajime was  _ naked! _

_ No…  _ he wasn’t just not wearing a shirt. Iwaizumi Hajime who had his face buried into a pillow, was nude from top to bottom exposing his sinful body to Oikawa Tooru.

Tooru realized his mistake but he couldn’t help but gawk at the man lying on the bed, the sheets barely covering his muscular ass. He had to leave now… he knows that… but  _ fuck _ , those powerful muscles on Hajime’s arms, back and thighs glued him on the spot. It was all too much to take and the heat on his face was getting worse by the minute.

The phone which he realized he was clutching too tight, vibrated again and he jumped in surprise, dropping the phone on the floor with a loud thud. Hajime groaned and Tooru froze again at the sexy sound emitting from this man on the bed. He wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole…  _ except… Oh my God,  _ Hajime was turning around, still obviously asleep but the movement caused the sheets to shift a bit and…  _ fuck it! _

He was nearly having a heart attack. His mind was screaming at him:  _ Ohgodohgodohgodohgod _ !

He unconsciously licked his lips as he took in the sight before him… the lines of the muscles on his chest, the arms which he folded over his sleeping face, covering his eyes, but not the slightly open lips. He drank it all in, his eyes following the toned abs which his mind counted because,  _ fuck it _ , he just had no shame.

His eyes traveled lower, to Hajime’s happy trail and down to…  _ oh my God.  _ Tooru’s face felt flushed and he tore his eyes away but the image was burned in his mind.

Hajime Iwaizumi was  _ big _ and  _ hot  _ and fuck! it didn’t help that he was semi-hard, too! It was all too much… his heart was beating so fast and his head was too hot it felt like he was gonna explode. He took a few deep breaths and placed the phone on Hajime’s desk before he retreated outside the room.

The moment he released a shuddering breath did he realize he was holding one the entire time. He headed back to the kitchen for a glass of water to quench his parched throat.

His heart was still beating wildly and he almost jumped when his phone buzzed with a new message from no other than, Keiji.

He jumped at the chance and called him up. “Tooru” Keiji sounded distant like he also just woke up, “You didn’t have to call. You just had to email the song--”

“I saw him naked!” He hissed and Keiji stopped. He heard the other guy make a confused sound on the other line before he asked, “You saw who naked?”

“My flatmate!” He gave a soft scream muffling his voice with his hand. There was silence on the other end of the line and a few moments passed before Keiji spoke again, “You had sex with him? Already?!”

Tooru rolled his eyes, “No, I didn’t. What made you even come to that conclusion?”

“Is there any other fair way that you would see someone naked with their knowledge… except…. He didn’t know, did he?”

Tooru swore Keiji would give him a disgusted look if they were talking in person now but he had to answer truthfully, “Well, yeah… he didn’t exactly know.”

“You peeping pervert.”

“Hey! It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t know he was one of those people who slept nude!” He defended, “I was just delivering his phone into his room when I accidentally…”

“Well, why didn’t you just wake him up? Or wait for him to wake up?”

“I thought it was an emergency.” His voice was becoming softer the more he thought about it, finding his resolve weaker and weaker by the minute.

“An emergency. Huh.” Keiji hummed still not believing, “Well how was it?”

Without thinking twice, he answered, “Good. He’s really…” he stopped realizing his mistake when Keiji gave one of those sardonic snorts. “Aka-chan! Stop teasing me! I am dying of shame and guilt here!”

“Doesn’t sound like it.”

Tooru rolled his eyes again, “You know what? Fuck you. I’m hanging up.”

\---

 

“Tooru, are you okay?” Shouyo’s face, bright as ever came into view and fished him out of his daydreaming.

They were in downtown Shibuya’s Tower Records looking for DVD’s of classic movies they’d use in their Philosophy class. Shouyo was going through shelves, grabbing and reading synopsis of the DVD’s like a responsible student.

Tooru was just staring blankly ahead, still lost in the memories of those thighs and… “Do you have a fever? Your face ia really flushed.” Shouyo asked nudging his arm. Tooru blinked at him and turned away embarrassed.

“Do you have a cold?” Shouyo continued prodding and Tooru knew there was no escaping this. So he shook his head, “Just feeling out of the weather. Slept late last night.”

Shouyo sighed, “Did you do start the Japanese History project already?” Tooru nodded earning a groan from the smaller guy, “That one is really terrible. I tried doing it last night but I get distracted easily.”

Tooru chuckled, “Why? Tobio-chan keeping you off your studies?” Shouyo blushed scarlet and turned away immediately without answering.  _ Bingo! _ Tooru laughed, “Bull’s eye!”

Shouyo excused himself with paying for his purchase and Tooru laughed harder. Lying wasn’t part of Shouyo’s arsenal, and somehow, he liked that about him. He grabbed the DVD he had been eyeing for the past hour before he got distracted with thoughts about a certain tanned guy he left sleeping this morning and moved to pay for the purchase.

They were on their way out when he saw Kenma browsing the shelf of video games at the counter nearest the door. He paused for a while, unsure if he should greet him or not… but before he made up his mind, Shouyo had hopped towards the guy and tapped his shoulder.

“Kenmaaaa!” Shouyo half-shouted slinging his two arms around the neck of the guy who was too shocked, he immediately dropped the game he was holding back onto the pile he had taken it from. “Sh-Shouyo?” Kenma stammered, looking at Shouyo then noticing Tooru a few steps away, his blank expression stiffened a bit, you can barely notice it.

“I’m glad to see you here! We barely see each other!” Shouyo complained giving Tooru the impression that they were probably pretty close. Kenma sighed, “We text everyday, Shouyo.”

Shouyo frowned, “I text you everyday. You respond when you feel like it… which isn’t many times.” Kenma looked down like the floor held his interest, “I was… busy.”

“Right. Architecture sure sounds complicated.” Shouyo pouted turning to Tooru. He blinked and suddenly remembered the unnecessary introductions. “Oh right! I’m sorry. I forgot to introduce you to--”

“I know him.” Kenma interrupted looking up at Tooru which unnerved the taller guy for some reason. He also didn’t understand--because he was way taller than Kenma and definitely had more muscle, but something in those cat-like eyes kept him on his toes. Kenma gave a short nod at his direction, “Oikawa-san.”

Tooru smiled, despite himself, “Kenma.” Shouyo looked at both of them, confused and surprised before Tooru offered an explanation, “We live in the same building.” He didn’t want to divulge anything about the uncanny way they got related to each other and thankfully, Shouyo accepted the reason easily, “I see. Me and Kenma came from way back. He was sort of my  _ senpai _ in a volleyball training camp.”

“Volleyball? You guys played volleyball?” Tooru asked, suddenly curious. He had never played formally in high school, but he did enjoy doing the sport in P.E. classes. He prefered it over basketball despite his height.

Shouyo beamed, slinging a lazy arm over Kenma’s shoulder who looked awkward at the gesture, “Yes we did. We were regular players back in high school. We even made it to Nationals.”

Tooru didn’t miss the pride in Shouyo’s voice and he smiled back, “You guys must be good.” 

“Not really…” Kenma said softly, which was the direct opposite of Shouyo’s enthusiasm. Shouyo shook Kenma, “You’re being too polite, Kenma. You are one of the best setters I’ve played with.”

“So you two came from the same high school?”

“No. Kenma came from Nekoma while I came from Karasuno.”

“Hey, it’s the school in our prefecture, too. I didn’t know you’re also from Miyagi.”

“Really? You’re also from Miyagi? What school were you from?”

“Aoba Johsai.” Tooru said and Shouyo’s eyes widened, “That’s one of the powerhouse schools in Miyagi! Some of our friends studied there. They beat our team in Inter High! That’s amazing!”

Tooru shrugged, “But I heard our school never made it to Nationals.”

Shouyo sighed, “Well, yeah.... I guess that’s too bad, right?” He smiled up at Tooru, “Do you play?”

 

\---

 

Iwaizumi Hajime woke up in the afternoon. And he did because his phone--which he was vaguely sure he left inside his bag, but couldn’t remember entirely--was vibrating incessantly for some time now.

He dragged his sore arm muscles to reach out and pick the  _ goddamn _ phone to scream at whoever was calling which he was fairly sure was eighty percent Matsukawa. 

“Hello?” He croaked, voice hoarse and barely understandable from sleep. “Iwa! Are you still sleeping?!” He sighed in exasperation and controlled anger as he answered Matsukawa, “I was. A few minutes ago. What do you want?”

“It’s too early to be grumpy, Iwa.” Matsukawa complained and Hajime swore if he was in front of him right now, he would have grabbed the guy in his collar and smashed his teeth in. “It’s too  _ fucking  _ early  _ for you _ .”

Matsukawa chuckled, “Touché.” Hajime rolled his eyes and placed a hand over his eyes. His stomach was growling probably because his last meal was last midnight… and his last  _ decent _ meal was two days ago. “Anyway, Kuroo called for a volleyball match next weekend. Are you free?”

He thought about it and was pretty sure he was free next weekend. Yet, he wanted to say ‘ _ No _ ’ but the invitation was from Kuroo and he could be a very determined… downright pesky guy. Hajime knew if he did decline and lie his way out of this,  _ the fucking guy would find a way.  _

“If I say I’d go, would you let me get back to sleep?”

 

\---

 

Tooru got home at around seven in the evening. The lights in the apartment were out, save for the one by the  _ engawa _ which they always leave open.

He kicked off his shoes and turned the lights on to the living room, almost jumping in surprise when he found Hajime lying on the couch, arm over his head and groaning at the sudden bright lights.  _ Thank god, he’s fully clothed _ .

“Iwa-chan!” He greeted happily and Hajime peeled off the arm from his face to look at him with one eye, “Oh you’re home.”

The intensity in his hazel eyes was enough to make him remember what he saw this morning that he had to look away and pretend to be interested in something at the kitchen. He walked over to the counter, shrugging off his backpack from his shoulders, “What are you doing here, anyway? Shouldn’t you be in your room, sleeping?”

“I just ate some dinner.” Hajime yawned, pushing himself up so he could sit at the couch and turn on the television. “Oh? What did you have?”

“Ramen.”

“Instant?” Tooru eyed the sink for some telltale signs that the guy cooked but as expected, there was none. He frowned, “You of all people should know instant food is bad for your health.”

“Starving is worse.”

“You could have waited for me. I can cook something nice for you.” Tooru liked this conversation. Hajime wasn't even bringing up the awkward conversation they had the last time.

“You don’t have to.”

“Yeah, but I want to.” He caught hiumself saying that and stopped himself before je said anything else.  _ That was a weird thing to say, wasn’t it? _ Anyway, Hajime didn’t seem to notice as he was busy flipping channels.

Tooru heaved a sigh of relief, “Anyway…. Do you want to watch a movie with me?” Hajime tore his eyes away from the TV to frown at him, “Huh?” Tooru realized immediately the implication of what he said and waved his hand across his face in dismissal, “I mean I have to do a movie review so I bought a DVD and planned on watching it tonight. Would you want to watch it with me? I’ll make some popcorn.”

Hajime was still frowning but he shrugged, “For a minute I thought…” He shook his head and sighed, “Well, whatever. Just don’t put too much salt in it.”

Tooru beamed, “Alright! I’ll just have a quick shower and change my clothes.”

Thirty minutes after, Tooru had already finished showering and already in his sleeping clothes (a pair of cotton shorts and an oversized white shirt) as he set the popcorn in the oven.

Hajime was watching a rerun of a boring television series but he tossed Tooru the remote when the guy sat beside him. “What movie did you choose?” He asked and Tooru had a moment to look embarrassed because it was a… as Shouyo said,  _ movie for kids _ . He took out the case from his bag and showed it to Hajime who gaped at him disbelievingly. 

“You’ll review a Disney film?”

“Hey! It’s not Disney!” Tooru looked down at the DVD and frowned at Hajime, “It’s based from a book by Dr. Seuss and I liked it when I was a kid.”

“It’s still cartoon.”

“Shut up! You don’t even know it’s not Disney!” Tooru whined, “What the hell are you still grinning about, you meanie!”

Hajime was grinning and shaking his head, “I just didn’t expect it…”

“Expect what?”

“That you’re this childish,  _ Shittykawa.” _

Tooru pouted, “I prefer not to call it being childish. Just… being attuned to your inner child.”

“Childish.”

“Oh whatever! You’re just an old grump.” Tooru stuck his tongue out making Hajime laugh and it was really beautiful. He stopped just to look at Hajime’s usually rough features shake with laughter. He listened as the sound of his laughter reverberated through the room like music. He wished he recorded it. 

When Hajime realized his lack of response, he stopped laughing and suddenly Tooru was hyper aware of the intent, curious gaze the guy is giving him. “What?” Hajime asked and Tooru wanted to tell him it was nothing…  _ just that his laughter sounded really really good _ .

The microwave beeped and he had an excuse to get away but Hajime stood up, “I’ll get that. Set up your Disney film,  _ princess.” _

“I told you it’s not Disney!” Tooru complained but moved to set up the movie anyway. Hajime returned with a bowl of popcorn and eight cans of cold beer. Tooru raised his eyes at him, “Are you trying to get me drunk?’

Hajime snorted, slumping on the space beside Tooru, putting the bowl between them and opening a can himself, “Not really. We won’t get drunk over a Disney film. That’s just wrong.”

Tooru didn’t even correct him again with the Disney thing but he did roll his eyes and pluck a beer from the bundle as he pressed play.

_ Maybe watching the film with Hajime was a wrong move _ . Forty minutes into the film and he was already very aware of the other guy’s tipsy and bored presence beside him. It didn’t help that he had downed two cans of beer when he has a very low alcohol tolerance. Now everything around him seemed to be buzzing with life.

“I don’t know why that elephant couldn’t just find a better way to carry that stupid flower.” Hajime said looking up at him and Tooru could swear those hazel eyes were smoldering at him. He felt his cheeks burn and he turned back to the screen, because his heart was suddenly hammering on his chest.

He was blaming the alcohol… for all the things he was feeling in his body right now. He was extra sensitive and he couldn’t think straight. He focused on the film and grabbed more popcorn, but Hajime’s presence was distracting. He could smell the musky scent of his shampoo and it made him dizzy. He was too close, his heat radiating off of on Tooru and when he shifted on his seat, Tooru unexpectedly jumped from his seat.

“Oi, what’s your problem?” Hajime asked and, “You can’t fucking sit still and you look distracted when this is supposed to be  _ your _ movie.” Tooru was offended. He sneered at Hajime, “I could have focused if you weren’t so fucking distracting!”

The moment the words slipped from his mouth, he immediately regretted them.  _ Blame it on the stupid alcohol.  _ He wished Hajime was too drunk to understand what he said but the look of surprise in his handsome face was enough of a proof that he did hear Tooru and he wasn’t too drunk to understand it.

_ Oh, let the ground swallow me up right now.  _ Tooru secretly wished especially when he saw Hajime’s mouth quirk up in a smug smirk. “ _ Distracting,  _ huh.” He tasted the words in his lips and Tooru wanted to run out from the room now.  _ Except… _

“You should see yourself.” Hajime wasn’t even looking at him when he said that and Tooru didn’t even know what to make of it.  _ Did he just really hear that? _

He opened his mouth to say something but closed it again when he didn’t find his words. Hajime picked up the last can of beer from the floor and Tooru realized he had drunk five cans already. He frowned, “Iwa-chan, are you drunk?”

Hajime didn’t respond and just took a swig from his beer. “Iwa-chan?” Tooru was smiling now, noticing the flush on Hajime’s cheeks and neck.  _ He was drunk. Which meant he’d forget what Tooru said. And he’d forget what he told Tooru _ . The last thought was bittersweet, for some reason.

He touched Hajime’s shoulder and the guy blinked up at him with half-lidded eyes. Tooru gasped because it just looked  _ damn sexy _ , it was unfair. Tooru smiled, “You’re drunk, Iwa-ch--”

“Tooru.” Hajime said grabbing Tooru by the shoulder, his voice a hoarse whisper it sent shivers down Tooru’s spine. His hand felt heavy and too warm and the buzzing in Tooru’s head was too strong and too unnatural, he was getting lightheaded. He stared at those hazel eyes, drooping from too much alcohol, but held the same intensity.

Hajime opened his mouth but closed them again and Tooru watched those lips move wondering what it would like to press his mouth against them. Part of his brain was telling him to do it and blame the alcohol, but both of them, he was sure, are not drunk enough to do that.

Besides, Hajime is straight,  _ right?  _ He simply has no chance in hell that this guy would…  _ but their faces were close _ . And he just needed to reach a bit for their….  _ What the hell! _

“Iwa-chan…” he breathed out the name and it smelled like alcohol. He was so much ready to blame this one on alcohol tomorrow morning. He could even pretend he couldn’t remember. “If I… kissed you right now. What… what would you do?”

Hajime didn’t look surprised from his question or he was probably too drunk to make an appropriate expression. But at least he didn’t pushed Tooru away and called him names. He didn’t even give him a look of disgust. He just stared blankly at Tooru, like he was lost.

Suddenly, Tooru was back in highschool, and he could see Daichi standing in front of him, reaching out to ruffle his hair and tell them  _ we will stay friends, aren’t we?  _ The rejection back then was brutal and it hurt and he promised himself he would never do that again.

_ But this was different.  _ He wasn’t even confessing his feelings. He just wanted to know what he would do if he kissed him and yet, he was giving him that stare. It hurt.  _ Still fucking hurts _ . Rejection had and always will.

“Maybe…” His vision cleared when he heard Hajime finally speak. He saw the guy looking at him intently, hazel eyes glinting from the bluish light coming from the television, “I’d kiss you back.”

 

\---

 

“You know, if you really didn’t want to go, you could have just told me.” 

Kenma was looking out the lively streets of Tokyo right outside his car window. Kuroo was focused on the road and humming to the song playing in the radio. The song was familiar, but he couldn’t remember the title, it was probably sung by a local band or something.

The LED clock on the dashboard says it’s only 8:30 in the evening but his entire body felt tired. The two of them met with their friends… _ okay, more of,  _ Kuroo’s friends since he was never really close with them in the first place. Bokuto Koutarou and Haiba Lev always have this tiring effect on him. It wasn’t because of anything in particular, it’s really just ‘cuz their energy tire him out. The only saving grace was Shouyo who was probably his only friend in the group.

He hummed in response and loaded his game. He wanted to slip his headphones into place but didn’t want to have that entire argument again with Kuroo. So he turned the music of his game loud enough so he could drown out the sound in the car.  _ The music. Kuroo’s voice. The inner voice in his head. His own heartbeat. His own breathing.  _ Everything suffocates him.

He focused on the game.

“Kenma.” Kuroo called again, for probably the 20th time that night. He ignored him, again. He didn’t know how to tell him he didn’t want to talk. He didn’t know how much more he could ignore the guy before he finally, finally leave him alone in his peace.

But this was Kuroo. And he never left Kenma alone ever since they were kids. Kuroo would always find him, knock down his door and drag him some place to meet and socialize with people.

He never left Kenma alone even when he felt like being alone-- _ especially then _ . And when they pulled over the parking lot, Kuroo shutting down the engine but not leaving the car, Kenma knew there was just no way he could avoid him.

“Kenma. Talk to me.” Kuroo had slowly, gingerly, placed a hand on top of his head, threading his fingers through his bleached hair and Kenma almost purred. He sighed and paused the game, “Fine. I don’t like going. Save from Shouyo, I never liked going out with them.”

He didn’t mean to sound too harsh but he had already said it. And Kuroo was staring at him with wide, hurt eyes. He looked away and only when Kuroo’s hand started ruffling his hair did he look back up, “You should have told me before,  _ Kitten _ .” His tone was light and very different from the tight expression on his face.

“I…” He didn’t want to end the conversation that way, didn’t want to make Kuroo feel he hated his friends, but before he could clear things up, Kuroo was already hopping out from the car. It was second hand which he got when he graduated high school. Kenma picked it with him.

Kenma went out after him, walking to the apartment building without saying another word as the guy locked up the car and strode after him. They didn’t say anything to each other. Even when Kuroo was already putting the key into their shared apartment and pushing the door open for the two of them.

Kuroo entered first and Kenma looked at his back… his lanky frame almost blocking the entire door. Kenma thought of how different the two of them were. They were childhood friends, and not even once did his body come close to Kuroo’s. He was always the small, frail guy and Kuroo had always been the lean, athletic one.

He doesn’t even reach his shoulders when they were side by side. The two of them looked awkward, like a beam tipping out of balance. Kenma bit on his lower lip as a memory kept tugging at the back of his mind. Even more when Kuroo turned to him with a smile on his lips but an unmistakable look of sadness in his eyes “Are you alright,  _ Kitten _ ?”

An image of strawberry blonde hair flashed across Kenma’s eyes. Blonde hair, black-rimmed glasses and an indifferent look. Followed by an image of Kuroo who never looked so happy his heart ached.

Before he could stop himself, he was already spewing out a question he would definitely regret later on, “Do you miss him?”

He had never asked that from Kuroo because  _ why would he?  _ It had been six months since Kuroo and Tsukki broke up. It had been six months and they had never really talked about it. Kuroo probably thought he didn’t mind which was probably the reason why the guy just blinked at him with surprise.  _ That’s right. I minded. _

But it was after that split second… that quick moment when Kuroo’s face changed from surprise to sadness and that nanosecond when he missed to give a response that Kenma knew immediately what the answer was. 

He wanted to laugh at himself but the tears were already coming. He stepped away from the door and ran away, vaguely aware of the lack of footsteps following him.

 

**+++**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Send some love to KuroKen! <3


	8. A Peek of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I also didn’t know why I was so in love with him. He was nice, alright. He’s hot but pretty normal looking.” He said envisioning the guy like he was standing right in front of him. “Been in love with him for a long time now… never stopped, really.” He sighed, “Not even after he rejected me. Nor after he had himself a boyfriend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thanks for sticking up with me. <3 Hope you like this latest update which offers a different perspective with KuroKen. :) Kudos and comments are always welcome.

Tooru could smell the alcohol in their breaths, and it was probably that or the proximity of their faces but he felt really hot. Or maybe it was the unfazed intensity of Hajime’s eyes as they stared down each other.

A heartbeat passed and Hajime started reaching out for him. “I-Iwa-chan…” he stammered when the guy’s hand grazed his cheek and settled on his neck, just below the jaw. His hand was warm and it was sending a tingling sensation down Tooru’s back, “W-we… must be pretty drunk.” It was amazing how he could keep talking even when he was getting heady.

"Hmmn…” Hajime hummed in response pushing himself forward so his face was just below Tooru’s jaw, his warm alcohol-laced breath making Tooru squirm.

Tooru didn’t know what to do--so far, he was just staring at the guy totally unable to move and yet totally  _ fucking  _ liking this. “Iwa-chan how about you go to sleep now? You’re clearly drunk.”

“Tooru.” Hajime stopped giving featherlight touches to his cheek and stared at him pointedly, “How about you just shut up?”

The prospect was more than nice, and he would have jumped at the chance. But there was just no way he’d let Hajime do this mid-drunkenness. He wouldn’t know how to face him tomorrow.

Hajime leaned closer, holding him by the jaw. His mouth skimmed over Tooru’s face, like he wasn’t sure where to kiss him. Tooru’s mind was in total chaos--he was thinking many things and he couldn’t focus on anything save for Hajime’s warm breath, powerful jaw, curious mouth hovering just right there… he could just tip closer… he closed his eyes when… 

_ “...Teru…”  _

Someone whispered and he wasn’t sure if Hajime just slurred his name or he was really…

_ “Akiteru…”  _

He opened his eyes and saw Hajime’s mouth closing.  _ No, he wasn’t imagining things _ . Hajime was calling someone else’s name in his drunken stupor. He was holding Tooru, and yet calling someone else. He was staring at Tooru but he was seeing someone else. It’s pathetic.

Feeling sorry for himself, Tooru pushed Hajime off of him and the man stumbled back to the couch without a fight. He looked up confused at Tooru who was glaring at him. He looked lost and Tooru was mad at him but more mad at himself.

“I’m sorry I’m not Akiteru.” He snapped, walking towards the door, grabbing his jacket and heading out. He needed time to think and he didn’t want that time to be anywhere near Hajime.

 

\---

 

Tooru didn’t know jogging around campus at night felt this good. It helped in clearing his mind and gave him new perspective. Like why he felt bad about what happened when in the first place,  _ he  _ was the one who told Hajime he wanted to kiss him, in the first place.

Whoever this Akiteru is, it was probably Hajime’s…  _ loved one? Boyfriend? Special someone?  _ He couldn’t be sure, but either way, he was someone special enough for Hajime to call out during a particularly  _ important _ moment.

He stopped by a vending machine near their apartment to buy a can of soda when he noticed the guy sitting on the bench beside it.

The hoodie on his jacket was up which hid his face perfectly, but the small stature and bleached hair peeking from the hood gave him away. “Kenma?”

Wide yellow eyes focus on him and in a moment, he thought he saw tears running down his face… but he had already turned away before he could confirm it. “Oikawa-san.” His voice cracked in the middle and Tooru noticed he was shivering.  _ It wasn’t that cold tonight _ .

“What are you doing here?” He didn’t know if it was his place to ask because for all he knows, Kenma might have been running like him and decided to rest for a while. Or he might be waiting for someone or… but the way he was sitting on the bench, legs pulled up hugging them to his knees. He looked like he was in a bad shape.

Kenma didn’t answer. Tooru figured he still didn’t like Kuroo calling him  _ pretty.  _ Or that he didn’t like Tooru meddling with his affairs. He turned to the vending machine and bought another can of soda. 

“I didn’t know what you’d like…” he said placing the can between them and sitting down beside the guy, “But you can drink this.”

Kenma looked at the apple soda Tooru placed between them like it personally offended him. Tooru thought he didn’t like the flavor and he must have done something terrible by giving it to him. Then slowly Kenma’s eyes stared up at him, “Why?”

“Why?” Tooru asked, quite unsure what he meant.

Kenma swallowed hard, turned away anf stared at the empty space in front of them “Why do I love him so much?”

It took that one question and suddenly Kenma shrunk into a small bundle of despair as he hugged his knees tighter, burying his face into his arms as the sobs racked his entire body.

Tooru didn’t know what to do or what to say. But he knew he just needed to be there… just how no one was there for him when he was crying for Daichi. He knew that most of the times, a quiet presence is really all you need.

So he stayed with Kenma, until the sobs were reduced to deep, shaky whimpers. “You know…” Tooru started even when he wasn’t sure Kenma was listening, “I fell in love with my best friend in high school.” He didn’t know if he should tell Kenma about this but he thought that if he wanted Kenma to open up to him, he should open himself up to the other guy. 

“I also didn’t know why I was so in love with him. He was nice, alright. He’s hot but pretty normal looking.” He said envisioning the guy like he was standing right in front of him. “Been in love with him for a long time now… never stopped, really.” He sighed, “Not even after he rejected me. Nor after he had himself a boyfriend.”

Saying those things felt like he was picking on his unhealed wounds, pulling at scabs that needed more time to dry up. It hurts. Admitting pain only makes things worse but he just told Kenma anyway. As if it mattered. As if he was listening when he wasn’t even looking up.

After a few moments of silence, Tooru sighed, “I should be going home n--”

“He was in love with me.” Kenma said softly. Tooru turned to him and he finally saw him look up again, his eyes were wet and red-rimmed but at least he had stopped crying.

“Yeah. For many years he was.” Kenma said, “Confessed to me in high school. Told me he had been in love with me ever since middle school. And well, I… I rejected him.” Kenma cracked a small, bitter smile.

“And I guess because of that he decided to move on and find some other person to love.” Kenma said, “But we stayed friends… maybe because as childhood friends, we couldn’t really live without each other. He got in here first then I followed right after. But he was already different.”

“He’d been going out with people. Lots of people.” Kenma said, his voice softening to a hush like he was so careful about this. Like one wrong word and it would ruin everything for him.  _ It was probably true _ . “It didn’t matter. Girl or boy… he took them home. I didn’t mind. I didn’t care. They didn’t matter. I was so sure he was still in love with me because I could always see it in his eyes.”

“And then one time, he finally stopped doing it.” Kenma smiled at him and Tooru saw himself reflected in those bleary eyes. “I didn’t know why, at first. I thought he was just getting tired of it. Until I realized why he suddenly changed his ways.”

Kenma took a deep shuddering breath that once again racked his body. Tooru thought he would cry again, but he didn’t. “He met someone.” He said with a bitter smile crossing his upturned lips.

Tooru saw his face reflected clearly on Kenma’s eyes. He could see how his expression seemed identical to the one he wore when Daichi told him that  _ he met someone _ . Met someone… as if Tooru didn’t know what was going on in the first place. As if Tooru didn’t know Sugawara.

_ Met someone _ . As simple as that. Like Daichi was just telling him he came across a familiar face by the train station and maybe he could have… except it didn’t entail any nasty prospect of having your heart ripped out and trampled right in front of you.

“I realized immediately how I didn’t want him to be happy with someone else other than me. I thought, he was only supposed to love me.” Kenma chuckled bitterly, “Do you know how much of an asshole that makes me? He told me he loved me once, I rejected it and yet I expected him to continue loving me.”

Tooru gave a small smile.  _ We are selfish in our own unique ways. _

“He left six months ago. Left and broke up with Kuroo. He was so devastated. So destroyed by it, I… couldn’t look at him suffering like that.” Kenma bit his lower lip, new tears forming like he was seeing the scene right before his eyes at the very moment, “I couldn’t let it happen… I… was… in love with him. So I thought, this was my chance.”

“I told him I love him. I told him I loved him before but I just didn’t realize it. And he…” Kenma sighed hard and all the emotions in his body seemed to escape him in t hat single motion, “Well he just… sort of agreed to try.”

“And that’s how you two came together?” Tooru asked, unable to refrain himself anymore. Kenma nodded, “Maybe he pitied me. Or maybe, he just wanted to have someone to replace whatever empty space Tsukki left.”

“Tsukki? That’s his name, huh?”

“Tsukishima Kei. He was… Iwaizumi-san’s roommate.” Kenma said, “So I’m sorry if I was chippy with you when nothing about you reminds me of him anyway.”

Tooru smiled, accepting his apology, “Now I understand why you’re being a total bitch with me.” He chuckled, “And thank you… for telling me that.”

Kenma smiled, genuinely this time, “You see? It isn’t entirely Kuroo’s fault. He just wasn’t in love with me.”

Tooru frowned, “It still is and Kuroo is still an asshole.” He snapped, “When he agreed to try, that meant he was willing to give what you two have a chance. It didn’t mean he could still go around and fuck other people. That’s not what  _ giving it a try _ meant.” Tooru shook his head, “He is in a relationship with you now, isn’t he?”

A nod.

“Then he should be  _ fucking _ loyal.” Tooru finished and Kenma was staring at him with wide, surprised eyes. After a while, Kenma laughed softly, “Wow, I didn’t know you’d get emotional like this.”

Tooru sighed, “Pining for someone who doesn’t love you really sucks, you know? It is tiring and really, really depressing. I was doing it my entire life and I sort of understand how Kuroo felt when you first rejected him.” Tooru didn’t want to admit it but yeah, he actually gets it. People cope in different ways. He fooled himself into believing he and Daichi has a chance, Kuroo slept around.

“But he’s in a relationship now. If he wanted to sleep around, he  _ fucking _ needs to let you go and let you find someone else who won’t be screwing around.”

They grew silent after that. Tooru wondered if he went too far. But when Kenma picked up the can of apple juice between them, opened and drank it up, he knew he did some good.

“Oikawa-san... “ Kenma said softly after a while, “Can I sleepover at your apartment tonight?”

 

\---

 

_ Alright, Tooru totally forgot about what just happened. _

Maybe, he should have told him. Because when he opened the door and found Hajime sitting by the counter, drinking coffee and smoking, he wanted to double back and run away again.

Of course, he didn’t do that. Hajime looked at him like he just saw a ghost until his eyes travelled down to Kenma who was standing a few steps from Tooru. “What happened?” He asked.  _ At least, he sobered up _ . 

“He’s sleeping here tonight.” Tooru said flatly. He didn’t want to explain anything and didn’t want Kenma to have to. Hajime didn’t ask further, anyway. He just nodded and took a sip from his mug, “You want anything?” 

Kenma shook his head. Tooru turned to him, “My room’s over there. You can take a shower first, if you want. I can lend you some clothes.” Tooru pointed at the general direction. Kenma nodded accepting the offer and hobbled his way to the shower… leaving the two of them once again.

An awkward silence made the atmosphere heavy but none of them seemed to want to break it. “Kuroo?” Hajime asked, puffing his cigarette. “Yeah.” Tooru replied. Hajime sighed, “He’ll learn.”

Tooru smirked, “I hope he does soon. It’s not nice using people as replacements.” He saw a flash of guilt cross Hajime’s eyes and Tooru thought  _ good, at least he remembers the shit he did. _

“Tooru, I…”

“Save it.” He said, raising his hand, “You were drunk. I was, too. So we can just forget everything.”

Hajime looked down at his mug of coffee, “Yeah…” Tooru gave a nod before he turned to walk towards the door.

“Tooru.”

He paused in his steps and he turned to look, “I’m still sorry. That was… kind of an asshole move on me.”

Tooru shook his head, “It’s better if we don’t talk about it. It’s not a big deal, really.” 

Hajime stared at him in defiance until he finally, finally sighed in defeat and shrugged, “Yeah, you’re probably right.” Still, they stood there, staring at each other in awkward silence. 

At least until his phone rang and he had to pick it up without looking at who’s calling which was a huge mistake because when he heard the voice on the other line, his entire being suddenly sank.

“Tooru? You finally picked up.” Daichi’s voice was warm and familiar and he felt his face heat up. Hajime was watching him curiously and he turned away because he was sure he’d embarrass himself.

“Hey. Sorry…” he said, lowering his voice to a whisper, “I was… busy.” The excuse was lame because of course, no matter how busy he was, he would still have enough time to answer Daichi’s call… even just one of them.

“Huh.” Daichi snorted but as expected, he let it go, “Well, how are you? Haven’t heard from you for a while.”

Tooru didn’t want to have this conversation because he’d be forced to ask Daichi how he is and Daichi would then tell him stories about Sugawara, which he really didn’t want to hear. But he found himself automatically answering him anyway. And then the conversation came naturally it almost felt like nothing happened between them. 

Daichi was curious and worried about him which made his heart pick up… but he also talked about Sugawara a lot which somehow kept him in check. When Kenma entered his room, already showered and in a bathrobe, Tooru knew he needed to hang up.

“Daichi, it’s really nice to talk to you but I have to go.” He didn’t realize he was smiling like a fool and only when he saw his reflection at the mirror did he notice this. He picked up some clothes for Kenma who politely took them before the two of them turned away so he could wear them. 

Daichi sighed, “Right. It’s actually pretty late.” Tooru could hear his disappointment.  _ What? Did he think I’d stay up all night talking to him?  _ “By the way… are you coming this weekend?”

“This weekend? What’s happening?” He asked, walking away and towards his room where Hajime couldn’t see him. 

Daichi clicked his tongue, “The performance. You told Akaashi you’d go.”

Tooru frowned, “Ah. Right. Okay. I’ll go after my volleyball game.”

“Volleyball? Since when are you playing volleyball?”

“It’s just for fun, dumbass. I’m just playing with new friends.”

_ A pause. _

“Daichi?”

“Yeah… I just… didn’t know you actually enjoy the sport.”

Tooru chuckled, “Yeah. I’m probably bad at it, though.”

Daichi laughed, “Nah… you’re pretty great in everything you do. I’m sure you’ll do good.”

“Yeah, yeah… anyway I really have to go. Good night, Daichi.”

“Night, Tooru.”

When he hung up, Kenma was staring at him with curious, wide eyes… it was unnerving. “What?” He asked and Kenma just shrugged, “Do you have a futon?”

“Ah, right.”

His movements were quick and light as he prepped the futon for Kenma who was just staring curiously at him. He waited for the guy to ask him a question but he didn’t. Not even when he finished. Not even when they both settled in their respective places. 

Only when Tooru had turned off the lights that Kenma asked, “Is he the guy?”

He pretended not to know, “Who?”

“The guy. The one you’re in love with.”

It took a moment for Tooru to respond but he eventually did, “Yeah.”

“Seems like it.”

“Why?”

“You looked sad and happy while you were talking to him.”

“...” He didn’t know what to say so he chose silence and they stayed like that for a few moments until Kenma spoke again.

“Oikawa-san…”

"Please stop calling me that. You're making me feel old."

_ A pause. _

"Tooru..."

“Hmmn?”

“Love’s not supposed to hurt, right?”

Tooru looked back at the years he loved Daichi from afar… how he pretended he was happy. How every single day they were together, he always felt like he was running out of time. Like he was always chasing after something he could never reach.

He thought of how much it hurts to fall in love alone. And he wished he could tell Kenma that  _ no, love shouldn’t hurt.  _ But that would be pretentious of him because in many times, love would not only hurt but it would fucking destroy you.

And the only reasonable answer he could come up with was a soft, totally unconvincing “...maybe.”

Kenma seemed to accept it but what he said next almost made Tooru jump out of his bed, "You should totally date Iwa."

"What?! Iwa-chan is totally straight!" Tooru snapped though he knew it probably wasn't true considering what  _didn't but almost_ happened tonight.

"Is he?" Kenma asked, "I never saw him with anothet girl before but now that I think about it, I never saw him dating anyone anyway."

"Oh..."

"He must be an uptight virgin."

"Kenma!"

"Is he your type?"

Tooru's eyes widened and in the darkness he could see the visual of Hajime sleeping in his bed naked, sheets barely covering that sinful body underneath and... He really needs to stop this trail of thoughts.

"Well... He is really hot."

"You should date him."

"I told you, it's impo--"

"Maybe he swings both ways?"

"Kenma. Why are we talking about this?"

"Nothing. I just thought..." He sighed, "Nevermind. Let's go to sleep."

Tooru was glad and didn't say anything else. He was just glad the conversation is over. He w as just glad the lights were out because he was sure he was scarlet red right now.

_ Date Iwa-chan. _ Huh.

**+++**

  
  



	9. Sick... In love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That day when Tooru got sick and learned some new things about Hajime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry. It took so long for an update. I was too busy with life. :(
> 
> I hope you guys are still with me. Enjoy this chapter! <3

**_Is Kenma there with you? I called up Shouyo and he isn’t there._ **

Hajime stared at the screen of his phone wondering about two things… what is the goddamn time and what the fuck will he text Kuroo.

_ Of course _ , Kuroo would text him. This wasn’t the first time Kenma chose to sleep over someone’s place whenever they had some pretty bad arguments, though he would usually stay over Shouyo’s apartment instead of Hajime’s… probably because he didn’t want sleeping in Kei’s room.

He blinked away his sleepiness and noticed the time on the upper right of his phone.  **_2:34 AM._ ** Seriously, Kuroo should get the hint that Kenma wouldn’t go home.

He couldn’t even believe that Kuroo was still up at this hour, seeing the timestamp on the message and realizing it was sent two minutes ago.

He considered ignoring it and pretending he was still asleep, but knowing Kuroo’s obnoxious ways, he was pretty sure the guy would just call him up. The options are pretty clear. He typed in a quick “ **_Yeah.”_ ** Before he threw the phone back under his pillow and buried his face into it.

Which was a wrong move because after a few minutes, his phone began vibrating like crazy. He groaned and picked it up, “What?!” His voice was gruff but he didn’t care. Calling in this ungodly hour… the person who called obviously didn’t expect enough courtesy.

“Yoh, Iwa.” As expected, it was Kuroo, “Just checking if Kenma’s okay.”

He huffed in annoyance but tried to keep his voice as neutral as possible, “He is. He’s with Oikawa.”

“Oikawa? You mean the  _ pretty _ boy?”

“If you want to make up with him, you probably should stop calling other guys like that.” Hajime said, “Kenma would suspect you’re flirting…  _ again. _ ”

There was long pause on the other side of the line before he spoke, “I don’t…” but his voice trailed off and Hajime sighed. It really isn’t in the position to say this but “Listen, man… you and your boyfriend should stop this screwing around and hurting each other. It’s not helping anyone.” He waited for a response. There was none, “And just… stop using my apartment as an extension of yours.”

Another silence. Before Kuroo spoke again, “...yeah, man.”

\---

Waking up with someone in the room wasn’t new to Tooru. Back when he was living with Daichi, there were times when the latter’s room was too messy, he’d end up crashing over Tooru’s room to sleep. He didn’t mind, really, in fact it was something he got accustomed to.

So when he woke up to find Kenma sleeping in the futon next to his bed, he found a sense of relief. He sat up from his bed only to dive back in when he felt a piercing pain at the back of his head. It wasn’t a hangover, especially because he wasn’t really drunk last night so the headache must be from his astigmatism.

He closed his eyes for a few moments before the main became manageable enough for him to move slowly about his room towards his desk, in search for his glasses.... Which he hated wearing.

He put them in place and frowned at his reflection… but at least, the headache had gone down to a dull throbbing pain. He noticed his face was slightly flushed… probably because he was feeling uncannily warm. He shrugged it off anyway and went out the room.

Sunday was a typically slow day for him. But seeing Hajime sitting by the kitchen counter drinking coffee, wearing a new crisp suit made his stomach flutter and his heart rate pick up. 

Sensing his presence, Hajime turned to face him and for a while he looked surprised like he didn’t know what to say until he gave Tooru a nod, “Coffee?”

“I don’t like coffee.” He said smiling at him, “With how many times you’ve offered me, I thought you would have figured it out by then.”

Hajime shrugged, “Not really good on reading people.” Tooru moved towards the kitchen, giving him a nonchalant smile, “Yeah, you seem like the oblivious type.” 

Hajime ignored it, “I didn’t know you wear glasses.” Tooru took a glass of water from the fridge, hoping the cool water would quench his already parched throat, “Yeah, I usually don’t. Just whenever my astigmatism hits.”

“I see…” Hajime nodded, “You kindda look sick. Are you sure you’re okay?”

Tooru ignored the fluttering of his heart at his concerned tone and shrugged, “I’m fine. How ‘bout you? Going somewhere?”

“Yeah. Just some convention with my professor.” Hajime said flatly and Tooru nodded like he expected it, “You guys are really busy.”

Hajime shrugged, “To be honest, I’d rather stay at home.” 

Tooru chuckled and rolled his eyes, “As if that’s possible. Besides, you’d probably just end up sleeping whole day.”

Hajime nodded, giving the faintest of smiles. Tooru’s heart skipped a beat.  _ Damn he looked cute.  _ “Or we could finish your Disney film. We didn’t finish it last night.”

Tooru pouted at  _ Disney _ , almost protesting for the nth time that the film wasn’t Disney, but the mention of last night brought back scenes he wasn’t ready to relive. He wondered if Hajime was thinking the same or if he had already forgotten  _ why _ they didn’t finish the movie.

He shrugged, “Too bad we can’t.”

Hajime kind of stared at him blankly as he proceeded to quietly sip his tea. Hajime’s eyes were burning a hole in his skull and it felt really awkward… but before he could say something, the man had already spoken again.

“About last night…” his voice was unsure and Tooru realized he remembered. Before he could continue, however, Tooru had cut him off, “I thought I made it clear last night that it was okay. We were… drunk.”

“Not drunk enough.” Hajime said, looking more serious than ever. Those hazel eyes burned into him and Tooru shuddered involuntarily under its extreme scrutiny.

“What did you…” Tooru’s voice was a soft whisper but it was broken when Hajime’s phone rang. Hajime sighed, a trace of disappointment evident with his huff before he picked up the call.

Tooru turned around, his heart racing and the headache that had already subsided suddenly returning.  _ What the fuck did he mean?!  _ More importantly…  _ why am I reacting this way?!  _ He took a swig from his water in one giant gulp, hoping it calms him down. It didn’t, but at least, his throat didn’t feel as dry as before. He focused on breathing until Hajime called him.

“Tooru.” He looked back and found Hajime already up from his seat, “I’ll go ahead.” He paused and for a while, he looked like he was about to say something else, but he just finished off with, “Go to bed early. You really look sick.” Tooru smiled, “Don’t worry about me. Take care!”

There was a moment where the two of them just stared awkwardly at each other, neither one of them wanting to break the connection and Tooru could swear, there was an electric flow going through them. But alas, Hajime had to leave so he gave a brief nod and went his way.

Tooru was left staring at the last spot by the  _ genkan _ where Hajime stood. At least until Kenma strode in, giving him a curious look. Tooru frowned as Kenma smirked, “That’s interesting.”

“Huh?” Tooru rolled his eyes, holding up a hand to his glasses, “Oh, did you mean these? Yeah I wear these when I--”

“Not that, silly.” Kenma rolled his eyes, “Flirting early in the morning.”

“What?”

Kenma shrugged, “I was watching the two of you flirt.”

“What did…” Tooru was lost for words, “We’re definitely not flirting!”

“You’re still blushing.”

Maybe, he wasn’t really blushing, but when Kenma pointed that out, his face felt too hot and he was pretty damn sure that he was, now. Kenma snickered, his cat eyes looking friendlier by the minute.

“So… breakfast?” Tooru changed the topic to Kenma’s amusement. But the expression was gone in an instant, “I think, I have to go now.”

Tooru frowned, “And go where? You’re not thinking of going back to that asshole, are you…” But the guilt on Kenma’s eyes told him otherwise and Tooru swore silently, “You totally are going back to him, aren’t you? You totally would still get back together with that sleazeball, are--”

“I love him.” Kenma said flatly… as if that explained everything. As if that justified his decision. As if that simple statement made everything right again. And Tooru hated himself because he knew… that in Kenma’s eyes,  _ it probably did _ . 

And who was he to say anything otherwise when he used that same lame excuse with Daichi? He was no better. He couldn’t lecture him about this because somehow, he too, understood.

He sighed, “Okay.” Kenma looked up, amber eyes shining from unshed tears. Tooru gave him a smile--the sincerest one he could muster, “But not after breakfast, okay?”

 

\---

 

**_Keiji: Tooru._ **

**_Keiji: Tooru._ **

**_Keiji: Tooru. Pick up, asshole._ **

 

\---

 

**_Tooru: Aka-chan, sorry I was… stuck in bed. My astigmatism is such a pain._ **

**_Keiji: Oh. Did you already take some meds?_ **

**_Tooru: In a while. I just need to sleep it off for a while._ **

**_Keiji: …_ **

**_Keiji: You know you’re rooming with a doctor, right?_ **

**_Tooru: He’s not yet a doctor._ **

**_Tooru: Besides, he’s out. Why did you call me anyway?_ **

**_Keiji: Did Daichi call you last night?_ **

**_Tooru: Huh? Why?_ **

**_Keiji: Did Daichi call you? Just answer._ **

**_Tooru: Uh… yeah. And I’m surprised you actually know. Why?_ **

**_Keiji: Well, I sort of figured. We rehearsed that song you wrote. And right after that he had this weird look on his face. Then he grabbed his phone and left._ **

**_Tooru: I told you not to tell him it was from me._ **

**_Keiji: And I didn’t. But he sort of figured it out?_ **

**_Tooru: How could that even happen?_ **

**_Keiji: I don’t know. You guys are weird._ **

**_Tooru: He didn’t sound weird yesterday, anyway. But he wanted me to come to the gig next week._ **

**_Keiji: Hmn… well, are you coming?_ **

**_Tooru: I don’t know, yet._ **

**_Keiji: Hmn..._ **

**_Tooru: Well, how is he now?_ **

**_Keiji: Don’t know yet. Rehearsal’s not until tonight._ **

**_Tooru: Okay, let me know. It’s been a crazy night, too yesterday._ **

**_Keiji: Did you do it with your roommate?_ **

**_Tooru: Aka-chan! What do you think of me?_ **

**_Keiji: Do you really wanna go there?_ **

**_Tooru: Meanie!!!...Well, we did almost kind of kissed._ **

**_Keiji: Almost… so it didn’t happen?_ **

**_Tooru: Well, he was drunk and he kind of called a different name._ **

**_Keiji: Hmn…_ **

**_Tooru: So I pushed him away. But, he did seem apologetic when I got back. Also this morning._ **

**_Keiji: Hmn…_ **

**_Tooru: Are you not gonna say anything else?_ **

**_Keiji: Why didn’t you just kiss him?_ **

**_Tooru: What do you mean?_ **

There was no response for a few minutes and Tooru thought Keiji had gone off somewhere so he buried his head back into his pillow, willing the terrible headache to go away. He was about to fall asleep again, until his phone rang. “I mean, why didn’t you just kiss him and get over it?” Keiji didn’t even bother giving pleasantries and just went directly to business, it kind of surprised him.

“Well, I…” He actually didn’t know what to say to the guy. If he told Keiji that he didn’t want to feel like a replacement to someone else, wouldn’t that mean that he was actually into Hajime? “Don’t tell me, you actually  _ like  _ this guy?”

“Come on. It’s not--”

“Of course it is.” Keiji said flatly, with no hint of compassion or any kind of emotion, “It is  _ that  _ simple. You’ve been crushing over this guy ever since you saw him. An opportunity like that happens and you let it pass. You wouldn’t do that, if you didn’t actually like the guy.”

“You make it sound like I’ve kissed lots of guys before!” Tooru snapped and regretted it right after when Keiji snorted. “I told you, I was in a bad place those other times!” 

It was true. Right when he heard about Daichi was going out with Suga, he went out on dates, got drunk and wasted…  _ had sex _ but only just so he could stop feeling the emptiness inside him for a moment. Of course, it made him feel emptier afterwards but he only stopped after Keiji caught him flirting with a married university professor did he stop.

“Admit it. You like this guy.” Keiji said, “And you are hoping you could start something with him which is why you didn’t want to ruin it by just fucking him.”

Tooru sighed. He didn’t know what to tell Keiji because he never really considered liking anybody else apart from Daichi. Keiji sighed, “Listen, don’t be a bitch about it. It’s not like you and him are gonna work out just because you do like him.”

“Wow. Thanks.”

“He did call someone else’s name, right?”

“Yeah… probably his ex or something.”

“Oh look! Both of you are lugging around the same shitty baggage.” Keiji said sarcastically, “Just perfect.”

Tooru rolled his eyes even if Keiji couldn’t see him, “Well, at least I’m not cheating like that sleazeball friend of yours, Kuroo.”

“Kuroo? He’s not my friend. He’s my boyfriend’s friend.”

“Yeah, same difference. He’s cheating on his boyfriend. That jerk.”

“None of my business.” Keiji said, “Anyway, let me know if you want to go to the gig this Saturday. Kou will be there, too.”

“Who is Kou?”

“Bokuto. My boyfriend?”

“Ah, right. Okay. I’ll let you know.”

“And seriously, drink some meds.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

\---

 

“I am starving!” Issei whined just when their group stepped out of Tokyo International Forum.

The huge modern building which was considered an architectural gem was swamped with people--students and professionals who attended the conference for Advanced Lasers and Photon Sources which would have been a very big deal if Issei wasn’t beside him the whole time, whining about useless shit they could totally talk about some other time.

“You’ve fucking said that twenty seven times already. Shut up!” He snapped as they weaved through the crowd.

“Why are you so skittish? Did something happen between you and Oikawa?”

The question caught him off guard. Thankfully, Issei was busy surveying the streets for some restaurant they could stay in that he didn’t notice the look of shock in Hajime’s face. But, he didn’t miss the lack of response from the guy and soon enough, he was giving Hajime a curious look, “So… how were you and Oikawa?”

Hajime finally recovered and sighed in annoyance, “We’re fine. We’re flatmates. Unless someone steals something from anyone, we’ll always be fine.”

“Hah. So he still hasn’t stolen your virginity.”

“Fuck you.”

“Ah right. Not really a virgin. Just… celibate.”

“Seriously. Just die.”

Issei was still snickering at his obvious discomfort as they crossed the street to where most of the restaurants were located. 

They chose a small burger joint because Issei said he felt like some  _ burger  _ tonight and Hajime didn’t mind because they served beer and allowed smoking. 

He thought the topic had been dropped but right after the two of them placed their orders, Issei spoke again, “But seriously, your flatmate’s hot. Why not try going out with him?”

“Because why would I?” Hajime glared at him, aware of curious pairs of eyes now trailing their way towards their not really isolated booth by the window.

“It’s not like you haven’t dated guys before.” Issei rolled his eyes like he was being ridiculous, and still completely oblivious of the weird stares.

“I dated  _ a  _ guy. But prior to that, I dated two girls.” Hajime hushed his voice, but his face showed how much he was trying not to shout.

“Yeah, and which one did you like better?” Issei grinned knowingly at him.

Hajime didn’t want to answer that. Dating was a little more complicated for him. It wasn’t just who made him feel better than the other. 

He dated because he was lonely. He thought dating would help him get through this inexplicable form of loneliness… but it doesn’t. In the end, he just hurts people because he couldn’t really give them what he couldn’t give himself. He couldn’t commit to them. He couldn’t love them because he just wanted them to be around whenever he feels lonely. And it was unfair.

So he stopped dating ever since.

“I don’t date anymore.” Hajime said flatly and Issei just sighed and nodded in because it was as if he didn’t know, “That is true.” He didn’t even try to talk him out of it, because even Issei knew how he was. He was even not sure why he suggested dating Tooru when the two of them both knew it was impossible. Maybe, he sort of hoped Tooru could change that about him, but maybe, it really was just a far-fetched idea.

\---

 

Tooru was feeling a little better in the afternoon to actually work on his projects. He just finished his film review when Hajime arrived. It was only a few minutes after eight and he was actually surprised that he left and went home within the span of one day.

“Iwa-chan!” He exclaimed when Hajime walked to the living room where he was sitting with his laptop. He frowned when he noticed he was reeking of alcohol and cigarettes. “Did you drink again?”

Hajime had half a mind to nod before he slumped on the space beside Tooru, making the latter jump. “You know, for a future doctor, you have some pretty bad habits.”

Hajime gave him a bored look, “What are you doing still up? Don’t you have classes tomorrow?”

Tooru grinned, “I just finished something. Besides, I haven’t had dinner yet.” It was of course unintentional, he just got too busy with his projects and totally forgot to prepare something to eat. He could just have some instant ramen anyway.

With that, he stood up to head to the kitchen, but Hajime grabbed his wrist. The contact sent waves of electricity in his entire body and he shivered uncontrollably. He turned to look at Hajime who was frowning at him, “What do you mean you haven’t eaten yet?”

“Well… I was sick the entire morning so I had to do all my projects in the afternoon, so I guess I just lost track of time.” Tooru managed to say.

Hajime paused and he had this unreadable expression before he grunted in response and shook his head, “Sit down.”

Tooru blinked at him and with that split second that he didn’t move, Hajime pulled him back down to sit on the sofa as he stood up and walked towards the kitchen, removing his coat and tie along the way until only the white long-sleeved shirt remained.

“Iwa-chan, what are you…” Tooru was lost for words as he watched Hajime donned his apron and start moving in the kitchen, lifting pots and pans, grabbing items from the fridge.

“You’re obviously sick.” Hajime said not looking at him, “I’ll cook some soup for you. So just shut up and rest your eyes for a bit.”

“But, I'm not sick…”

“Have you looked at yourself in the mirror just now?”

“Huh? No. Why?” 

Hajime sighed as he started stirring some miso in a bowl, “You’re face is flustered, your eyes are bloodshot and you’re warm to the touch. If I’m reading it right, you’d catch a cold if you don’t take it easy.”

Tooru just stared in awe at him. He didn’t know if he should be amazed or embarrassed… probably both. Hajime finally raised his eyes to meet his, “What?”

Tooru managed to give a smile. He strode towards the kitchen stool and sat down languidly, like a cat, “I didn’t know you cook.”

Hajime turned back to what he was doing and shrugged, “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me.”

Tooru nodded, “That is true. You do seem like someone who doesn’t share his secrets easily.” He almost purred out the words and he simply didn’t know why he did it.

Hajime paused then looked squarely at him, “Is the virus getting in your brain, now?” Tooru chuckled but Hajime was having none of it, “Get back in the sofa and wait quietly.”

Tooru pouted but begrudgingly followed. But even from where he was seated, he allowed himself to watch Hajime move around the kitchen. He was ungraceful and awkward, but he looked like he knew what he was doing. He wasn’t dropping anything and his movements were calculated and systematic… he could swear Hajime would be a great surgeon if he wanted to.

It was like seeing him in an operating room, minus the apron, of course. He stopped his thoughts right there because it wouldn’t do anyone good if he started imagining him in a scrub suit… which would absolutely make him look hot--except nobody looks ‘hot’ in a scrub suit.

He looked away and closed his eyes, noticing the way they burned when he did. Hajime was probably right… he was too busy to notice the unusual warmth in his body which was the first sign of an oncoming fever.

He wondered how he even got this…  _ did he spend too much time in the shower?  _ No. Well, he did not change clothes after he went running last night and saw Kenma. He was sweaty, but too lazy to change again. Maybe that was the reason.

Maybe, he fell asleep that way, but he was roused from sleep by a cold, gentle hand on his forehead. He opened his bleary eyes, blinked a few times until Hajime’s face came into focus. “Iwa-chan…?” 

Hajime pulled away, “You’re already running a fever.” He straightened and gestured at the low table in front of Tooru where a tray of food lay. It was basic and homey… a bowl of rice, warm miso soup and some grilled mackerel.

“Eat up. I’ll get some medicine for your cold.” Hajime said, his voice sounding a little of a command. Tooru nodded, a sharp pain shooting from the back of his head at the sudden movement.

He slowly crept down to the floor to reach the tray as Hajime walked towards his room. 

The food looked edible and safe enough… and Tooru’s stomach growled at the sight of it. He gingerly took a sip of the miso soup and was pleasantly surprised of the taste. He took another sip and the taste almost seemed like something his mother would cook.

Hajime strode back carrying a small white satchel. He frowned when he saw the look on Tooru’s face, “What?”

“You’re a pretty good cook!” Tooru exclaimed using his chopsticks to take a piece of the fish. Hajime shrugged, sitting down on the sofa, just beside Tooru, “That’s pretty basic stuff.”

“Still…” He hummed in response before he eagerly said, “Itadakimasu!” He caught a small smile in Hajime’s face as be dug in gratefully at the food.

“So, how was the conference?” He asked after a couple of hearty spoonfuls.

“Interesting.” Hajime said, “Although Issei kept bugging me the entire time so I think I missed some parts.”

Tooru chuckled, “Issei’s your classmate?”

“In some classes, yeah.” He said, “Though I think he’s thinking of specializing in pediatrics so he’s taking some classes that I don’t.”

Tooru took a drink of water before he spoke again, “I see… well, what are you specializing anyway?”

“Neurosurgery.” He said, his face becoming dark. Tooru almost congratulated himself for imagining Hajime in a scrub suit, but he frowned at the unusual expression in Hajime’s face.

He chose to ignore it, “That sounds cool… and tough.”

Hajime smirked, “Yeah, it’s pretty tough. But I made a promise to myself I’ll work through it.”

Tooru grinned at him, “Well, if it fails, you can just open up a restaurant. You’re a pretty good cook.”

“My mother taught me.” Hajime said, visually relaxing. He stretched his long limbs on the floor until they were almost beside Tooru. 

“She taught you well.” 

“I lived alone most of my life, since she’s always away to work so I had no choice but to learn.”

“Hmn… your father?”

“Died when I was twelve.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be. I never met him.”

“Oh…” Tooru didn’t even look up to meet Hajime’s eyes, guilty that the conversation took an awkwardly morbid turn.

He felt Hajime shift, “Well, I better take a shower.”

He placed two green capsules in front of Tooru, “Take this once you’re done eating. It’s for your fever and headache.” He stood up and began to walk away, but Tooru called him suddenly, “Iwa-chan…”

He stopped and looked back at Tooru who was standing up unsteadily from where he was sitting. Tooru didn’t know what he was doing… but somehow, he wanted to  _ do something _ to change the mood.

He grabbed the collar of Hajime’s shirt and pulled him into a quick kiss. Tooru heard Hajime drew a sharp breath, noticed his eyes widening at the briefest contact their lips made. Tooru’s head whirled, maybe from the headache, or something else but when they pulled apart the look of utter shock in Hajime’s face made it all worth it.

“Thank you.” He said softly, grinning sheepishly. Hajime snapped back to reality and a cute little blush crept on his cheeks as his face turned into a petulant scowl. _Oh, it was just adorable._

He waited for a look of disgust or a hurtful comeback, but all Hajime said was “You can do better than that.”

 

**+++**

  
  
  
  



	10. Goodnight, Tooru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was still silence. Tooru shifted to face the wall and closed his eyes.
> 
> “Goodnight Tooru."
> 
> Oikawa Tooru hated being sick, but right now, he could swear, he had never felt this good (probably never will) about being sick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! It's holy week where I am so I don't have anything to do (not a beach person). So here's an update! <3
> 
> Will be writing an OtaYuri oneshot so you might find me in that YOI fandom soon. :)
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoy this chapter. Kudos and comments are much appreciated.

**_Shouyo: Oikawa-san, are you still sick? Get well soon._ **

**_Shouyo: Also, don’t worry about missing some lectures. I can let you borrow my notes._ **

**_Tooru: Chibi-chan! I’m feeling better now. A week of rest feels too much, TBH._ **

**_Tooru: By the way, how did you know?_ **

**_Shouyo: Good!!! I’m excited to see you. Also, Kenma told me._ **

**_Shouyo: BTW, are you still going to the games tomorrow? Isn’t that bad for you?_ **

**_Tooru: Of course I am! Come on, getting cooped up at home for a week really weakened me. I need some exercise to stretch my muscles!_ **

**_Shouyo: I heard you were well taken cared of, anyway._ **

**_Tooru: Huh?_ **

**_Shouyo: Iwaizumi-san?_ **

**_Tooru: Waa! Did Kenma say that?!_ **

**_Shouyo: Maybe… Is it true, though?_ **

**_Tooru: No. We just slept together for one night then he went to uni the next morning and I never saw him since then. :(_ **

**_Shouyo: That’s a bit cold._ **

**_Tooru: Yeah…_ **

**_Shouyo: Also, what did you mean by slept together? Are you and Iwaizumi-san…?_ **

**_Tooru: What? Oh. Wait… that’s not what I meant._ **

**_Shouyo: …_ **

**_Tooru: I meant we literally just slept together._ **

**_Shouyo: Oh. Okay. Anyway, I won’t keep you up. Go to sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow._ **

**_Tooru: I am not sure you understand completely, Shouyo._ **

**_Shouyo: Yeah. But it’s alright. I’ll respect your privacy._ **

**_Tooru: No, this isn’t an issue of privacy Shouyo. We really didn’t do anything._ **

**_Tooru: I swear it. Nothing happened!!!_ **

 

But there was no more response. Tooru looked at the screen for a few more minutes, seeing his face contorted in horror. He had a lot to explain tomorrow and just the thought of it was making his head throb. Good thing it was Shouyo, though he was worried he would say something to Kenma.

Either Way, the blinking numbers on his phone indicated that it was indeed time to go to bed.

He was about to put his phone down and crawl back to bed when his phone lit up again with another message.  _ From the guy who was the source of all of this. _

 

**_Hajime: Oi, Shittykawa. Are you sleeping?_ **

**_Tooru: I was about to._ **

**_Hajime: It’s already twelve midnight, what are you doing still awake?_ **

**_Tooru: Just catching up with Shouyo._ **

**_Hajime: You need to fucking rest._ **

**_Tooru: I’m already okay… You’re too protective of me, Iwa-chan._ **

**_Hajime: …_ **

**_Hajime: Shut up._ **

**_Hajime: Brattykawa._ **

**_Tooru: You are so mean! TT_TT_ **

**_Hajime: Go to sleep._ **

**_Tooru: I was about to._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_._ **

**_Hajime: Good night._ **

 

\---

 

Oikawa Tooru, for some unknown reason, loved the smell of the gym. The mixture of sweat and air salonpas gives him a thrill like no other. He wasn’t an athlete back in high school, focusing on his music, but god knows he could if he wanted to.

And if he did, he probably would try volleyball. He scanned the almost empty volleyball court and spotted Shouyo’s orange mop of hair from a distance. He wasn’t alone, though, with Kageyama sitting close to him, fixing his shoelaces and Kenma who was rather transfixed on his PSP and ignoring Shouyo’s multitude of stories which Kuroo-- _ to his ultimate disappointment _ \-- was listening to earnestly.

Upon seeing Kuroo, he wondered if it wasn’t too late to back out. But Kageyama saw him, pointing at his general direction and in a minute, Shouyo was bouncing off to meet him.

“Oikawa-san! You’re here!” He exclaimed grabbing his wrist immediately and dragging him to the rest of the group. He let him drag him, with his heavy feet.

Kenma looked up from his game and gave him the briefest and smallest smile. “Ah! Pretty boy is here!” Kuroo exclaimed and Tooru scowled at him, “You don’t call me that.” Shouyo blinked at Kuroo then turned to Tooru with a bright smile, “Ah, but it does suit you.” He was actually sincere, “You’re one of the prettiest guys I have ever seen.”

“Well, you should meet my boyfriend!” A voice called out from behind Tooru and when he looked back, he saw a guy with spiky silver hair, wide yellow eyes and a smug almost-stupid looking grin. But what really surprised Tooru was the man trailing behind him.

“Aka-chan!” He exclaimed, seeing the familiar indifferent face of his old friend who upon hearing the petname, looked up with wide eyes. 

“What are you doing here?” Keiji asked when he got near but Tooru glomped him in a huge embrace before he answered. Tooru didn’t know how much he missed his old friends until one of them is standing right in front of him. When he pulled away, everyone had this weird look on their faces.

“What’s up with that guy?” The silver-haired guy asked. Keiji turned to them to explain, “Tooru is my friend. He’s part of the band I’m managing.”

“Was.” Tooru corrected and Keiji rolled his eyes, “Anyway, this is Bokuto Koutarou. The  _ one _ I told you about.”

Tooru eyed Bokuto who grinned at him and offered a hand. He looked juvenile… and if he was being honest, kind of stupid, but his hand was warm and his grip was strong and friendly and he immediately realized how this guy (and Iwaizumi) were friends with a despicable guy like Kuroo.

“Oh, looks like everyone is here.” Another unfamiliar voice made Tooru spin around. His heart skipped a beat and his jaw dropped when he saw Hajime walking towards them, flanking two other lanky guys. “Oi, Mattsun! Makki!” Kuroo called and the two raised both their hands, “Glad you two could join us today.”

“I’m also here, asshole.” Hajime hissed making Kuroo laugh, “Yeah, but you don’t need any fucking introduction, don’t you,  _ Ace _ ?”

Bokuto snorted at the term, “As if.”

“Ohoho… someone didn’t like that.”

“Wait, is that… Oikawa Tooru?” The tallest guy with dark curly hair and thick brows spotted him first and he saw Hajime’s head quip towards his direction, his mouth forming an ‘o’. 

“Ah, yeah?” Tooru said as Mattsun stopped in front of him, eyeing him curiously, “Wow. You’re smaller in person.” Mattsun declared, “But prettier.”

The one with very light pink hair called Makki rolled his eyes and grabbed Mattsun by the collar, “Stop the fanboying, Issei. Let’s go get changed.”

“Ooh… someone’s jealous.” Bokuto gave a snide remark which Makki totally ignored. “Come on, let’s go get changed.”

The group started moving towards the lockers, even Kenma who begrudgingly followed Kuroo. Tooru was about to, when Hajime grabbed his wrist. He felt a heat creep up his cheeks when he turned to him. “What are you doing here?” Hajime asked, scowling. Tooru pouted, “What do you mean? Shouyo invited me.”

“I mean why are you already up? You just had a flu, remember?” Hajime’s face was infallible and Tooru shuddered at the intensity of his eyes. He was sure he wasn’t running a fever, but  _ god _ , those eyes were burning him.

"I’m already fine.” He said trying to keep his voice calm, “Besides, I could need some exercise.”

“Don’t be stupid,  _ Shittykawa. _ ”

Tooru was touched of the genuine concern Hajime was showing him but there was no way he would think of it as anything else even when somewhere at the back of his mind, something was telling him that  _ yes, maybe assuming something wasn’t really too far-fetched _ .

He batted his eyes at him, “Well, if I come down with another sickness, I don’t mind sleeping with you again.” He watched the color of Hajime’s face turn bright pink and was about to smile his triumph until he heard someone clear his throat behind him.

_ It was Keiji who apparently heard everything.  _ Hajime walked away immediately leaving him to explain things.  _ That bastard.  _ Well to be fair, this was of his own doing. 

He looked sheepishly down and headed towards the locker room, Keiji following not far behind him. The other guys were still changing, exchanging banters along the way when they walked in. Tooru chose the locker farthest from the door and the group, hoping Keiji would go to his boyfriend.  _ But he didn’t _ .

Tooru wordlessly pulled out a blue cotton shirt and white shorts, closing the door of the locker only to see Keiji, standing beside him, arms crossed over his chest, “So, you guys slept together, huh?” 

“It’s not like that.”

“What’s not like that?”

“Remember when you called and I told you I wasn’t feeling well? I was sick that day… and well, the entire week actually.” He said, trying his best to fit one story in a short summary the best he could, “Well, he just… took care of me. He, stayed beside me in bed to keep me company.”

Keiji frowned, definitely not buying it, “Yeah? And how did that happen suddenly?” Tooru considered telling him how he kissed him… how that lead to them almost  _ kissing again _ , except he sneezed and the doctor part of Hajime remembered he was sick and decided to just tuck him into bed.

He wondered if he should remind Keiji how clingy he gets when he’s not feeling well.  _ He considered telling him, but didn’t want to.  _ Thankfully, Bokuto’s arm draped possessively over Keiji’s shoulder, distracting him, “What you doing,  _ babe _ ?” 

Keiji blushed--something Tooru had never seen before and it was kind of adorable. “Just talking.” Keiji said, still giving Tooru a look that indicated they were not done talking.

“Yeah? Talking about what?” Bokuto nuzzled Keiji’s neck and Tooru looked away from the obvious PDA. He needed to get away from them--they--or at least Bokuto, was oozing with pheromones. “Stuff.” Keiji half-whispered and Tooru didn’t even bother to look. He was concentrating on changing clothes as fast as he could, ramming everything up in the locker.

“Hey lovebirds. Go get a room or something!” Kuroo yelled, throwing a towel at the pair and Tooru, for once, was glad for Kuroo.

Bokuto released Keiji laughing while his friend still looked flustered. Tooru avoided his gaze, pushing past them towards the exit, realizing most of them had already gone back to the court. 

Tooru sat beside Kenma who was still transfixed by his PSP. “So…” he started and Kenma looked up at him curiously, “How are you?”

The guy shrugged, “Nothing new in particular, if you’re referring to  _ that _ .” Tooru sighed but gave him a small smile, “You do know that if anything happens, I’m just right here, right?” 

Kenma nodded and smiled gratefully before Shouyo came to the two of them, “So, Oikawa-san. What position do you usually play?”

Tooru shrugged, “I only played during P.E. but setting and serving are my favorites.”

Shouyo beamed at him, “Just like Tobio here. And Kenma too!” Tooru gave Kenma a surprised look, while Tobio mildly glared at him.

“Not playing today, though.” Kenma interjected, “Just bought a new game and besides Akaashi’s here.” The moment he said that, a flustered Keiji and a grinninh Bokuto came out of the locker

“Aka-chan’s a setter?” Tooru asked, directing the question to Keiji who shrugged before he began stretching. Shouyo chuckled, “Yeah… seems like a trend, don’t you think? Setters either hook up with an Ace or a Middle Blocker.”

He gave a conspicuous look at Kenma who grunted in response. Tobio smacked him in the head before he jogged off towards the court to do some stretchings. 

“Ow! What you do that for?!” Shouyo hissed but Tobio was already out of hearing range.

Tooru looked at the collection of bodies stretching over the court, but his eyes can’t help but trail over a particular guy at the corner of the court, doing some leg warm-ups with Mattsun. 

Tooru couldn’t help but appreciate the muscles of his thighs, his arms… or the deep concentration in his eyes as he extended his legs in front of him to stretch. He licked his lips unconciously as he watched the fabric of his shirt sinfully ride up revealing a good amount of abs underneath. He remembered that time when he saw him naked, and  _ god _ , why did he have to have this thoughts now?

“So, what do you play?” Kuroo came towards him, fishing him out of his obvious ogling. He didn’t appreciate the interruption but only because it was Kuroo. “Setter.” He said, biting back any smart retort he could come up with which really felt uncalled for.

Kuroo hummed, ignoring the coldness of his voice and looked around the team, “Well, we have two setters now. Do you think you can play other roles?”

Tooru shrugged, “I love serving.” Kuroo clicked his fingers, “Well, that’s a useful skill. Anyway, we’re still deciding on the team.”

Apparently, the teams were divided based on the setters so there was the Akaashi Team and Kageyama Team and then the rest were decided by toss coin.

In the end, he was part of Team Akaashi with Kuroo, Makki and Hajime. Team Kageyama had Shouyo, Mattsun, Bokuto and the grumpy Kenma who didn’t want to be disturbed in his game but had no choice because the number was uneven, yet he promised not to move a finger.

Team Kageyama will serve first and Bokuto was grinning at Keiji when he took the ball. “Be safe,  _ baby _ !” He called out and Keiji muttered under his breath. 

He remembered what Kuroo said a while as they were prepping for their team play, that Bokuto may be a child, but he was once a top spiker in whole of Japan when he was in high school. Tooru was surprised at that, but when the ball swished past Kuroo and Hajime, landing on the floor with a thunderous impact, he realized, they weren’t kidding.

“Don’t mind!” Makki yelled clapping both Kuroo and Hajime on their shoulders. Bokuto blew a kiss in Keiji’s direction, putting up one finger. 

“That asshole.” Kuroo hissed but took his position again as Bokuto went for another serve. This time, Makki received it, yelling “Akaashi!!” as Keiji rushed to the ball as Tooru stared at how graceful he maneuvered his body to toss it to Kuroo who simply swiped it to the other side of the court.

They got the point and they huddled in the middle of the court, clapping each other in the backs. It was Mattsun’s turn to serve and unlike Bokuto’s, Makki easily received it. Tobio’s expression changed immediately--from the uncaring, flat expression, his expression became laser-like. Tooru stared in awe when Shouyo jumped on one corner of the court even before Tobio’s precision toss hit his hand. 

“What the hell was that?!” Tooru asked. Kuroo frowned, “There it is. The  _ freak duo _ is back at it again.”

Shouyo jumped happily, clapping Tobio’s back who grumbled, “You were too slow, Hinata.”

Honestly, Tooru didn’t know if he was too slow, but he didn’t have time to think because this time, Makki was serving and he was serving it directly to him. He licked his lower lip in anticipation because he was trying to be low-key about it, but really, volleyball was the only P.E. class he enjoyed in high school and well… 

He received it effortlessly, surprising people around him. Keiji went to position to toss… the ball went up, then  _ WHAM!  _ The ball hit the other side of the court as Hajime landed on the floor. 

Tooru blinked at him with wide eyes, watching the flex of his arm muscles as he raised his hand to high five Kuroo.  _ That just happened, right? _ “Nice kill!” Kuroo said pulling them all in a huddle. Tooru was still stunned… because  _ goddammit!  _ Did he have to be hotter than he already was?

He was still actively gaping at Hajime until Keiji called to him, “Oi, Tooru! Your turn to serve.” He turned to Keiji who was looking at him knowingly and shaking his head before Tooru walked over to him and took the ball. “You’re drooling.” Keiji said and Tooru immediately wiped his chin only to find out he was teasing him. He glared at the setter who calmly walked away.

He sighed, willing himself to concentrate. He looked at the ball in his hands, squeezed it and spun it a couple of times. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes before opening them to look exactly at where he wanted to hit the ball.

He tossed it high… a little too high but when the ball came to the right height, he ran and jumped, swinging his arm as hard as he could. 

The feel of the rubber hitting his palm was amazing and the resounding impact of the ball on the floor was delicious. Even more were the shocked look of his teammates and the silence hanging in the court…

Until, well, Kenma spoke softly, “Out.” 

He grumbled in annoyance but his teammates were already bustling around him, “How did you learn to serve like that?” Keiji was the first to ask.

Tooru frowned at them, “Huh? What do you mean?” 

“That was a jump serve. Granted, it was out… but…” Makki said nodding, “That force… how?”

Tooru shrugged, “I just wanted to hit it really hard.” They gaped and until Kuroo started snickering did Tooru realize what he just said. “Well, that’s the spirit.” Kuroo chuckled as they got back to position.

 

\---

 

_ They lost _ . 

Which really wasn’t that bad since they lost by just two points--one of them Kuroo insisted was Bokuto making a bad call on Tooru’s serve. It didn’t matter because now, Tooru was just exhilirated to have played.

It was a shortcut to knowing and bonding with the guys, too, which turned out to belong in the same circle of friends--volleyball rivals in high school. He liked all of them, and though he hated to admit it, he could see the good parts of Kuroo. Though he still hated him for what he was doing with Kenma.

Either way, when he asked him if he’d like to join the group to eat in a café which they always go to, he didn’t hesitate at all.

They were freshly showered and the weather outside was pretty amazing so they all agreed to just walk towards the said café. After a few steps, Keiji who was walking way ahead of him, fell behind and sidled up beside him. “So, what do you think of them?” He asked, sincerely curious. 

Tooru smiled, “They’re a unique bunch. I like them.” He sighed, “Hell, I’d even go as far as saying I like Kuroo… sometimes.” He was a nice guy, minus the fact that he was a sleazeball, he was a good team player, level-headed and overall great at leading their team. 

Keiji breathed a rare smile, “You’d fit just right in. I’m glad.”

“Wait, were you worried for me?”

Keiji frowned, “Don’t push it, Oikawa.”

Tooru chuckled but said no more. He knew better than to push for luck when it comes to Keiji. “Well, you’re going after this, right?” He asked after a while.

“Going? Where?” 

Keiji rolled his eyes, “Where else? The gig? Did you forget?”

It was kind of amazing because he totally did. Usually, he wouldn’t forget things which involved the band and… well… Daichi. But this afternoon was too fun, the gig just kind of slipped his mind. He hesitated and Keiji saw that.

“The rest of the team will go.” Keiji said as if to appease him, “Well, okay… not all. I think Kageyama needed to go home to finish something up and Shouyo wouldn’t go without him. But the rest of them would go.”

Tooru stared up at Keiji, eyes glittering. He slowly looked over at Hajime who was chatting with Bokuto and Kuroo. “...and yes.” Keiji continued, “Even your precious  _ Iwaizumi _ would go.”

Tooru rolled his eyes, about to tell Keiji that it wasn’t  _ his Iwaizumi _ but Kuroo had already announced that they were already here.

 

\---

 

**_A FEW NIGHTS AGO…_ **

 

_ “You can do better than that.” _

Tooru blinked once. Twice.

He heard him wrong,  _ right?  _

Except Hajime was staring intently at him--his hazel eyes smouldering. “Are you drunk?” He managed to say, even when his head was a flurry of thoughts, his heart hammering in his chest, supplying too much blood, too much oxygen in his brain, it was about to explode.

Hajime didn’t respond, just continued staring at him with those forest-like hazel eyes and he wondered how would it be like to stay lost in them…  _ maybe he should.  _ He had long looked into eyes as dark as night, with no hope of seeing his face being reflected back, but those green eyes were showing something else. 

“I think we’ve used that excuse a little too much.” Hajime finally said, his voice low. Tooru shivered but he managed to smile. He reached out for Hajime and he did too. But before their hands could touch, he rocked back as he sneezed so hard, snot came out of his nose.  _ Magic ruined. Good job, Tooru. _

There was a stunned silence before Hajime cackled loudly. “Right…” He said giving Tooru a box of tissue so he could wipe his nose, “Let’s get you to bed.”

“But…” he wanted to protest as he lead him to the shower to help him clean up, but Tooru was too lightheaded to speak. “Some other time,  _ princess _ .” He said, his voice soft and soothing, Tooru felt like he was being lulled to sleep.

Hajime stood by the door as he brushed his teeth and washed his face. He could feel his eyelids getting heavier and heavier, a headache already starting. He managed to finish cleaning up but when Hajime lead him to his room, he stumbled to his bed with a heavy thud.

“You’ll be alright, yeah? I put the medicine by your bedside table. Drink them after three hours.” Hajime said from somewhere beside his bed. He was lying face down and couldn’t really see him but he didn’t hear or feel him walk away.

“Oi, Shittykawa. Are you listening?”

No answer. Tooru was too tired. 

“Oikawa.”

Still, no answer.

“Tooru.” Hajime said more firmly, calling him by his first name, “You’ll be alright here, right?” Tooru grunted his response.

“Do you need anything?”

“My mom.” Tooru cried, hating how needy and clingy his voice sounded. He always becomes like this when he’s feeling under the weather. It’s embarrassing, but whenever this happened, Daichi would just stay beside him.  _ He couldn’t crave for his company now _ . Though, he had to admit, a phone call would have been made him feel better.

Before he could decide whether to ask for his phone, he heard Hajime draw a deep sigh followed by a scraping sound, like a chair was being pulled over near him. Finally, with great difficulty, he raised his head from the pillow, only to find Hajime in his chair, sitting beside his bed.

“What are--”

“Well, I can’t fucking bring your mother, can I?” Hajime snapped like he was being ridiculous, “But I’ll stay here until you fall asleep. That’s what mothers do, right?” Maybe it was the fever playing tricks on him, but he could definitely see Hajime blushing. “Don’t even fucking expect me to sing you a lullabye.”

Tooru chuckled and the motion sent a sharp pain to the back of his head, “Iwa-chan, are you my mother now?”

“Huh?”

“Gomen, gomen…” Tooru said, “I’m just gonna sleep now.”

“Good. And shut up. Your voice is annoying.”

Tooru buried his face back to his pillow, pulling the covers around him. It was warm and cozy in his bed, but he couldn’t help but shiver because no matter how much he buried himself into his bed, he was still feeling cold. He shifted and shifted, hoping to find the perfect position until Hajime couldn’t take it anymore, “What is it now, Shittykawa?”

“I just…” Tooru looked up at his airconditioning, noticed it was off… so wh “It’s cold.”

Hajime rolled his eyes, “God, you’re such a baby.”

He stood up and marched out the door and Tooru thought he had had enough of him and already went to sleep in his own room. But he came back after a while, already changed to his sleepwear. Tooru frowned when Hajime stood by the bed and told him to, “Scooch.”

“Huh?”

“Move or I’ll kick you out of the way.”

Tooru immediately moved closer to the wall to give space to him. Hajime slid in the space he provided and Tooru felt his skin warm--no, more of heated instantly.

“Iwa-chan, what are you--”

“Just fucking shut up already.” Hajime said, turning his back to Tooru who was watching him intently. His mind was screaming at him now, but he shut it up easily because…  _ what the hell?!  _ He couldn’t believe it, but this was happening, right? Hajime decided to keep him company… and warm tonight. He could have just given him extra blankets, but he…

Tooru couldn’t help but smile. “I swear if you’re not asleep in two minutes, I’ll fucking punch you.”

Tooru pouted, “Why are you so mean?”  _ Yet so sweet?  _ It was a lethal combination and Tooru was slowly falling for it. 

“Go to sleep.”

“I will. Goodnight, Iwa-chan.” No response. Tooru sighed, “And oh, Iwa-chan… thank you.”

There was still silence. Tooru shifted to face the wall and closed his eyes.

“Goodnight Tooru."

Oikawa Tooru hated being sick, but right now, he could swear, he had never felt this good (probably never will) about being sick.

 

**+++**

  
  
  
  
  
  



	11. From Afar...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was just his shadow. He reminded himself, and yet his entire body buzzed with excitement and a certain kind of... longing. He held his breath, without him even knowing. And only when the lights on the stage came on, that he released his breath and it became apparent that yes, he should have prepared for this and yes, this was a bad idea overall.
> 
> Song Reference: https://open.spotify.com/track/75eHv3hqHsXCoIbpyShzAy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let us all pretend I didn't enter hiatus and wasn't MIA for a really long time, shall we? Anyway I hope some of you still remember me and this story or won't be bothered by refreshing their memories by rereading some parts.
> 
> Please do listen to the song before you read... Or while you're reading... Or after reading. It totally depends on you. 
> 
> Comments are very very much appreciated! :)

The club they entered was a haywire of flashing lights, throbbing music and a collection of sweaty bodies slamming and jumping against each other.

It was sensory overload and Tooru wanted to go home.

But he promised, and he wasn’t one who would break a promise. So when Keiji led them to a table booth he reserved for their group, he had no choice but to follow. It was relatively easy, considering Kuroo and Mattsun towers over almost everybody in the club. 

Their booth was situated a few booths away from the stage, but still in a relatively good position. He slid beside Hinata who’s mood rather dampened at the absence of his boyfriend, but was still a beam of sunshine.

Makki sat beside him and across them sat Hajime and Mattsun. Kenma and Kuroo were sitting side by side with them while Bokuto was fidgeting on his seat like a little kid ever since Keiji left to check on the band.

They ordered two buckets of ice cold beer as they watched the live band performing on stage. “What time is your boyfriend’s band gonna play again?” Kuroo shouted over the loud music at Bokuto. “He told me they’ll play at around eight. But it’s already eight thirty so something must have come up.”

Truthfully, Tooru wasn’t that keen on seeing his former band play--okay, sure, he missed his band members, but this was the first time he’d be able to watch them and not be standing  _ with  _ them so he wasn’t entirely sure how he would feel. And this was also the first time he would be seeing Daichi again. He realized he should have mentally  _ and emotionally  _ prepared himself for this.

“Oikawa-san, are you okay?” It was Hinata who looked up worriedly at him. Makki who somehow, despite the loud music overheard the conversation joined in, “Yeah… you look kind of tense.” 

“Well, you were part of  _ Discordia _ , yeah? Are you excited to see the band play without you?” Mattsun asked and suddenly, everyone’s looking at him expectantly.

“Yeah! Why did you leave anyway?” Bokuto chimed in, “I heard from Keiji that there were many reasons but he really didn’t specify.”

Tooru managed to give a nonchalant shrug, “Well, I changed schools.” Bokuto frowned looking unconvinced, “Tokyo U isn’t that far from the studio you guys go to, isn’t it?” Which was true and Tooru hated how Bokuto knew this and especially why he would bring it up right now.

“Band members usually leave for personal reasons, don’t they? Like a falling out on other members?” Mattsun suggested and he almost choked. He saw Hajime glare at the guy which Kuroo immediately picked up on, “Yeah, how about we let  _ pretty boy _ alone tonight and mind our own business?”

Kuroo winked at him and he hated himself because he actually felt grateful towards this despicable man.

The awkward conversation stopped abruptly when the drinks arrived. Makki sidled up beside him when he grabbed his bottle, “Hey, Oikawa, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry about Mattsun. He’s just really excited about you here.” He said eyeing the other guy sheepishly, “I’m sure he meant no harm. He could be really thick-headed sometimes.”

Tooru managed to smile, “Yeah. No problem. Though I don’t see why he’s excited about me. I’m not really interesting.”

Makki gave him a curious and meaningful look before his eyes lazily trailed off to Hajime who by now was smoking and downing his beer.  _ But that could also just be his imagination _ . He ignored it.

Keiji came to their table after a couple of minutes, obviously breathless. Bokuto immediately draped his arm over him, pulling him close. Nobody seemed to mind and Tooru realized that this was probably normal with the two. “Sorry. There were some problems backstage.”

“Oh? What was it?” Bokuto asked, offering a sip from his own bottle of beer which Keiji took gratefully. Keiji sighed, “Just some changes in our lineup. But it’s okay now.”

Tooru resisted asking more. He didn’t want to seem too interested… but at the same time, he didn’t know if he should at least act at the very least concerned. Keiji didn’t seem to mind him not asking though, so he sealed his lips.

“Oh look, they’re here.” Kuroo said gesturing towards the stage. Tooru held his breath as the lights dimmed and dark silhouettes started moving on the stage, fixing and setting up things. It was dark, but he could make out Noya sitting behind the drums talking to Asahi who was drinking from a bottle of water--something he always did out of nervous habit and it made him smile a bit. Then there was Suga, who was so focused in tuning his guitar what he didn’t even notice when Daichi went up the stage.

It was just his shadow. He reminded himself, and yet his entire body buzzed with excitement and a certain kind of...   _ longing. _ He held his breath, without him even knowing. And only when the lights on the stage came on, that he released his breath and it became apparent that  _ yes, he should have prepared for this  _ and  _ yes, this was a bad idea overall _ . 

Daichi was standing in the middle of the stage--a sheepish, dimpled smile on his face and he could swear the guy was glowing. All of them were wearing the usual thing--black shirt with their band's logo. The logo he spent nights creating. His logo. A part of him wanted to lash out and ask him how dare them use his logo without his permission, but also, a part of him reveled at this, if only that logo was the only remaining connection to the band, he would take it.

“Hi, we’re Discordia.” His voice was shy but even that seemed like an unsung melody. It was the usual introduction before the music to their first song played--years ago he had argued with him that they should start with something more  _ iconic _ , an introduction that made everyone remember them, but Daichi never really was the type to put up with those things.  _ Why would he? His voice was memorable enough. _

The first song started playing and it was a familiar one. They had played it countless of times before. Both of them loved  _ Luck Life _ anyway and hearing the first chords of the song  _ Hajime No Ippo _ brought back memories he had tried to forget for quite some time now. It brought back memories of high school when the two of them were just starting the band. When both of them were naive enough to think they’d be doing it forever.  _ Maybe, Daichi would. _ He thought bitterly.

It was an upbeat song, and he didn’t notice that many in their booth had joined the bodies on the moshpit, jumping and slamming with each other while some went back to the bar to get more beer. He was left with Kenma whose nose was still on his PSP. 

Somehow, the lack of company apart from the distracted boy felt better. He didn’t want anybody to look at him and see whatever his expression he was making. He didn’t want them to see how desperate he looked because right now, all he wanted was to jump back in the stage and play with  _ his _ band.  _ His band. _ The thought left a bitter taste in his tongue. That wasn’t  _ his  _ band--it never was to begin with.

Still, he closed his eyes and imagined strumming his guitar, jumping around with Daichi beside him, smiling at the way his eyes danced with sung lyric, every beat of the drum... He wanted to be there at the moment with his friends. He wanted to be there.   _ He was there _ .

The next song flowed by earnestly and this time, it was one of Noya’s favorite--a cover of Spyair’s Genjou Destruction. He watched how the band looked on stage and they looked like they were having fun. This was a hard song, but Daichi was singing it like it was nothing--even smiling at the crowd who was obviously mesmerized by him.

Tooru stood up and excused himself from Kenma who blinked curiously at him but said nothing. He headed to the bar and ordered a shot of Jaeger. He downed it in one go and ordered another one.

It was too much and when the song ended and followed by a song he didn’t recognize, he almost stood up and walked away from the club… the sound… Daichi’s presence. But it was probably the amount of alcohol he took for the shortest amount of time that made him stop because his vision spun and he was forced back to the stool he was sitting on. 

_ It's the same old day today _ _   
_ _ But it's not the same as yesterday _ _   
_ _ Everyday is built for something new to do _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Will it be the same tomorrow? _ _   
_ _ As the sun goes down in sorrow _ _   
_ _ Looking for something else to say _   
  
_ Well, we used to start _ _   
_ _ To talk about the weather _ _   
_ _ Now we're getting worse _ _   
_ _ we're asking the same questions _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Are we getting ready to hang up _ _   
_ _ as we said our last words _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Are you feeling that  _ _   
_ __ Did you miss someone to talk to?

He turned to the stage as Daichi sang the words.  _ What was this?  _ He didn’t recognize the song which probably meant it was an original song. But the meaning was just... _   
_ _   
_ _ I'm sorry if I let you down _ _   
_ _ And, I'm sorry If I'm not the one for you _ _   
_ _ And I'm thinking we keep far, _ _   
_ _ Yes, we really need _ _   
_ _   
_ _ But, I'm sorry if I let you down _ _   
_ _ And, I'm sorry If I'm not the one for you _ _   
_ _ And I should say it, _ _   
_ __ But maybe it's just better left unsaid…

The lights were swirling and the smoke from the cigarettes were making his eyes burn. He needed to get out of here and after paying for his drinks which he lost count of, he had dashed out the club, pushing against throngs of people who were jamming with the song.

_ What did it mean?  _ His eyes were burning from tears that he refused to fall because…  _ he should not feel this way.  _

The cold night breeze was a welcome refreshing air in his lungs and he took a couple of deep breaths to steady his breathing. When it failed, he bent over a corner and dry heaved. His stomach was painful and his throat burned.  _ Everything hurt.  _ Maybe, this was a wrong thing. Maybe he really shouldn’t have come.

“Oikawa?” 

Pink hair and a light brown eyes peered down at his hunched form. Makki looked sincerely worried over him. Beside him, Mattsun looked equally distressed. “Are you alright? Did you have too much to drink?” Makki asked. Tooru shook his head, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “I’m just…”

Before he could make up some excuse, he had already bent over and heaved some more. A hand circled his back soothingly and he looked up to see Makki frowning at him, “You don’t look so good. Do you want to go home?”

Home seemed like a good idea. “Yoh, Iwa!” Mattsun called from somewhere behind him.

“You asshole! You took my cigar--” Hajime’s voice trailed off as Tooru looked up to see him looking down at him, “What happened?”

His hazel eyes burned through him even when he wasn’t really directing the question to him. Mattsun shrugged, “We just found him like that.”

Tooru grabbed onto the nearest wall to support myself. He closed his eyes and tried to steady his breath. Then he felt a hand--heavy on his shoulder. When he opened his eyes, he saw luminous green.

“I’ll take you home.” Hajime sounded earnest and commanding. Tooru nodded as the man turned to Mattsun. “Your bike.” He said and the said guy threw him the keys without muttering a single protest, “Take care of my baby.”

Tooru couldn’t remember when Mattsun brought his bike in the parking lot, but that didn’t matter now because Hajime was dragging him towards the parking lot where a black, well-maintained motorbike was parked. His grip on his shoulder wasn’t exactly gentle, but the firm hold helped in keeping Tooru from stumbling on his feet. His vision still spun, but at least the air in the parking lot was cleaner, cooler.

Hajime let him go and he leaned on the motorbike as he prepared to leave, handing him a helmet. He stared blankly at it, like Hajime just handed him a Math problem he had to solve. When Hajime noticed this, he groaned in exasperation and said, “Just fucking wear it.”

Tooru just stared and Hajime, finally losing patience, grabbed the helmet and not so gently placed it over his head. “Where…” he wasn’t even finished when Hajime looked at him incredulously, “Home. Obviously.”

“But your friends....” 

“I don’t think they’d even notice my absence. Most of them will go home drunk anyway.”

“Oh.” Was his only response. He didn’t move even when Hajime had started the engine of the motorcycle and was waiting for him to hop on. He didn’t know what made him so reluctant to leave.

“Are you coming?”

Tooru blinked up at Hajime who was getting blurry by the minute. The guy was frowning but suddenly looked concerned. Tooru’s eyes burned as he bit back the tears threatening to fall, “Can we… go somewhere else."

\---

 

Tooru didn’t know if Hajime would listen to him. He didn’t know if he would care enough to grant his request. But they breezed through the streets of blurry lights and stopped in front of a mini bakery which was surprisingly still open despite the time.

Somehow, the ride sobered him up a bit but he was still shaking when he sat on the bench a few steps from where they parked the motorcycle. Hajime went to the vending machine to get himself some coffee, as Tooru assumed. But when he came back, he had two cans of coffee and a pack of milk bread.

“You love these, right?” Hajime asked, handing him the pack of bread and the cold coffee. He took them and muttered a soft thanks but didn’t even make a move to consume them.

They were silent for a while. And he was grateful for it. The night was cold but clear and from where he was sitting, he could see stars peeking from under the gingko trees. There were some joggers running occasionally trailing the path in front of them, not giving them even a side glance.

Hajime sat down beside him--close enough, but not touching. He was a warm presence and he smelled of cigarettes but Tooru felt comforted by it. Hajime opened his can of coffee before he sighed, “So, are you going to tell me what we’re doing here?”

Tooru bit his lower lip, “I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess.”

Hajime snorted, “Yeah. Well, it’s too late for that.”

“I mean…” Tooru started, “I feel like a fucking damsel in distress and I just…”

“Well, you pretty look like one.” Hajime chuckled, gulping more of his coffee. Tooru winced but gave him a sheepish smile, “Yeah, well… sorry about that.”

Hajime heaved an exasperated sigh before he continued, “So you really won’t tell me?”

Tooru looked up at him… directly at those intense green eyes and wondered if he still needed to talk. Those eyes could see deep within him. “I just wasn’t ready to face  _ them _ .” He said softly, turning away.

“Them? You mean your band members? Did you have a sort of falling out?”

Tooru shook his head, “Yes, well, no... not with all of them.” 

“Hmmn…” Hajime hummed in response and waited for him to continue. Tooru didn’t know how he could. He just… “Well, I am pretty tired and I still have classes tomorrow.” Hajime said ending the discussion immediately, “If you really didn’t want to talk about it, then we’ll just leave it at that.”

For a moment, Tooru was thankful for this. He wasn’t sure if this was a part of his life that he’d like to share with Hajime now… wasn’t sure if he would want him to know about this, ever. But somehow, he found himself blurting out the very words he didn’t want to say, “I fell in love with the vocalist-- who coincidentally is also my best friend.”

The surprise in Hajime’s face reflected his own--and he even handled it better. He didn’t expect he’s spill his secret that easily, but he felt too at ease with Hajime. It was a certain kind of comforting presence he didn’t even feel with Daichi before.

Still, Tooru felt all the blood rushing to his head like it was about to explode and the heat on his face was so intense he was sure his skin would melt away. But Hajime, after a while of unpeturbed silence gave a deep sigh, “Well, that sucks.”

_ As if he understood. As if he knew how it felt like _ . Tooru wondered what made him take the news so nonchalantly, but at least there was no look of disgust in his face. “So, you really swing that way, huh.” It wasn’t a question, just a confirmation. Tooru blinked up at Hajime, wondering if he was being serious.  _ They did fucking kiss, right? _

“What do you mean? You do, too, right?”

Hajime shrugged, “Well… not really. I just…” he trailed off before he gave Tooru a snappy glatr, “I don’t fucking know why the hell we’re talking about this out here in public.”

Tooru chuckled upon the realization and he had to admit, it was indeed hillarious, “Yeah. That’s a bit weird.”

Then there was another stretch of silence as a few night joggers passed their way. It ended quickly when Hajime took a deep breath--like a swimmer preparing for a dive “Is that why you drank too much?”

“I wasn’t really to get drunk, I just sort of lost count…” Tooru said but even that sounded like a feeble attempt to lie. Hajime shrugged, “Well, you were lucky Makki and Mattsun saw you.”

“Yeah, tell them thanks tomorrow… and sorry too. I think I threw up on one of them shoes.” Hajime nodded an affirmative and Tooru smiled, “They’re really nice…” He said softly, “Your friends, I mean.”

“A few days ago you called Kuroo an asshole.”

“Well save for him. But I admit, even he is pretty decent, too.”

Hajime smirked, “I told you, he’s a nice guy. He just has some issues…”

Tooru wanted to argue but chose better not to. After a while, Hajime spoke again, “We should go.”

“Back?” Tooru asked and Hajime gave him another one of those incredulous looks, “Do you want to?”

Tooru shrugged, “Well, I haven’t even said hello to them…”

“You do know that you look like shit right now, don’t you?” There was no real bite on Hajime’s tone, but it made Tooru wince. “Are you always this mean, Iwa-chan?”

Hajime shrugged, “We’ve been roommates for quite some time now, I thought you’d be used to it.”

Tooru rolled his eyes, “I hardly even see you anyway.” When Hajime’s eyes widened, he wanted to take it back. He didn’t want to sound like he was complaining or anything, because he really wasn’t but it seemed like he was.

There was a tensed silence but he relaxed when Hajime shook his head, “Just now you sound like…” he didn’t finish but the unbecoming dust of pink on his cheeks was a giveaway. Tooru was smart enough not to comment about that.

Instead, he looked at the starless sky and realized that a dark cloud had started forming above them. No wonder he felt chillier than when they arrived. He looked over Hajime who noticed the sky too. “Looks like rain.”

Tooru sighed, “I guess going back to the club is out of the question then.”

“Yeah…” Hajime agreed but they just stood there for another few minutes before anybody made a move. It was Hajime who gestured for him to follow “Come on.” 

Tooru did, but not before he grabbed in Hajime’s sleeve and the man turned to him with a questioning look which was immediately wiped off when Tooru swept in and kisses him on the lips. It was chaste but it made Tooru’s heart flutter. 

Before Hajime could open his mouth to react, Tooru beamed at him, “Thanks for taking care of me, Iwa-chan. You might be rude, but you’re kind of sweet.”

Hajime grumbled under his breath but whatever he had to say, Tooru didn’t hear because he had already snapped the helmet unto his head and stood patiently waiting by the motorbike.

Hajime marched towards him, avoiding his eyes and refusing to say another word, but his cheeks were bright red.

It made his chest tighten and his stomach flip that when he slipped behind Hajime, placing his hands on either side of Hajime’s firm sides, a heat started curling at the pools of his belly. He felt giddy… and distracted… that he didn’t even notice his phone ringing in his pocket.

 

**+++**

  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
